


What We Inherit

by GrenadeFestival



Series: Broken Legacy [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Ben Solo has never had a good idea in his life and he's not about to start now, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Force Visions, Hurt/Comfort, Lightsaber Battles, Smuggler Ben Solo, Smuggler!Ben, exorbitant amounts of hugging, soft reylo, take a wild fuckin guess what that archive warning is for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-04-08 13:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 42,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19107739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrenadeFestival/pseuds/GrenadeFestival
Summary: “Then why do you avoid it?”He hesitates. It’s not a topic he usually likes to talk about. His family danced around the issue, even when he got older. Sharing his morbid thoughts and dreams or his fears surrounding them just never felt...appropriate. It was always better to just avoid it and keep up the facade that everything was ok. Part of him says that he shouldn’t talk about it with Rey either. Even so, there’s something in the way she asks him about it.“You know the story of Darth Vader, don’t you?”________________________Concerned about the rising conflict in their son, Han and Leia never send Ben to Luke's academy, reasoning that it might be better for him to grow up like a normal kid. Snoke finds his Jedi killer in another apprentice, and Kylo Ren's shadow never falls across the galaxy. But that doesn't totally alleviate the pull of light and darkness within him. The First Order still rises to terrorize the galaxy. The Resistance still fights to stop them. And in a scavenger wandering the deserts of Jakku, the Force still awakens.





	1. Cosmic Stand-up Comedy

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man are you guys ready for some fuckin STAR WARS? Are you ready to get MELODRAMATIC up in this bitch?? You want some fuckin FORCE and DESTINY??? LET'S GO!!!
> 
> I have all 9 chapters of this written out already, and I think I'm going to do what I did with my long Widomauk fic and drop the chapters a week at a time. I fully intend to follow this up with a retelling of The Last Jedi, and eventually The Rise of Skywalker. Jury is still out on whether or not I'll start writing the last part before the actual movie comes out. By the time we get there, the story will be so fundamentally different that I almost don't NEED the movie to guide my hand, but one Sheev Palpatine is throwing a wrench in everything. TLJ though, probably out some time this summer. 
> 
> Huge thanks to shoeboxbrain (tiefling-queer on tumblr) for being my sounding board and editor for this fic. It wouldn't have gotten to where it is without them <3
> 
> Please enjoy my bullshit.

Neither of them can make their mouths move fast enough, and their conversation quickly becomes an incoherent cacophony of excitement. 

“Your last shot was dead on-.” 

“You set me up for it-.” 

“You got him with one blast-!” 

“That was pretty good-.” 

“It was perfect.” 

Finn and Rey’s celebration is interrupted by BB-8’s concerned chirping, and the adrenaline high finally starts to fade. Rey crouches down in front of the droid. 

“You’re ok, he’s with the Resistance,” she reassures him, “He’ll get you home...We both will.” 

Finn looks away, lips pursed, hoping that the droid doesn’t have programing made for analyzing facial expressions. Rey stands and turns around. As the memory of their brief battle finally stops replaying in her head, she becomes sharply aware of where she is. What she’s doing. And who’s in front of her. 

“I don’t know your name,” she realizes.

“Finn,” he replies, “What’s yours?” 

“I’m Rey.” 

Her expression is still as awed as when they first met. It leaves a bad taste in his mouth. While his training at the hands of the First Order encompassed many terrible, ruthless things, lying was never really one of them. It’s not something he’s ever been good at, or something he’s ever took pleasure in. He takes a deep breath. 

“Rey-.” 

_ Ping!  _

Something metallic ricochets off the interior cabin, and a sharp hiss fills the room. Clouds of white vapor spew up from the grates that cover the floor. His brief impulse to tell her the truth is quashed as a much more pressing problem presents itself. Finn doesn’t know much about spaceships, but he’s fairly certain that leaks mean big problems, mean possible explosions, mean him and Rey floating off into the unforgiving void of space. He tries to tell himself that surely this isn’t  _ that  _ bad. Surely the universe will give him a break - just  _ one  _ \- and give him time to recover from the near constant stream of adrenaline he’s been running on. However, Rey immediately sprints towards the leak, confirming his fear that this is, indeed, a very big problem. Finn runs after her, eyes wide.

“What’s going on?!” 

“Help me with this!” Rey orders, pulling on the grate. 

He bends down to help her haul the heavy metal grate up and out of the way. Though she moves with clear purpose, he can see the building fear on her face as she dives down into the guts of the ship, looking at cables, sensors, and pipes for the source of the problem. Finn is helpless to do anything but watch her work. Finally she sticks her head back out of the crawlspace. 

“It’s the motivator,” she says, “Grab me a harris wrench, check in there.” 

Finn scrambles over to a pile of boxes nearby and starts digging through all the assorted junk inside them.

“How bad is it?” he asks, hoping she’ll give him  _ some  _ reassurance that they’re not dead in the water. Maybe it just  _ looks  _ bad-. 

“If we want to live, not good.” 

His heart starts beating a little faster. 

“They’re hunting for us now. We have to get out of this system!” he says. 

Different scenarios start playing out in his head, none of them good. If the ship breaks down, every sequence of events ends with them dead or locked in a cell somewhere. He continues searching for the wrench with new fervor. 

“BB-8 said the location of the Resistance base is ‘need to know'. If I’m taking you there, I need to know,” Rey says. 

He wants to ask why she thinks  _ now  _ is a good time to be asking about this, since they’re all apparently moments away from imprisonment or fiery death, but he chooses to interpret her muddled priorities as a good sign.  _ I’d love to know too,  _ he thinks. His hands finally land on a tool that looks approximately like a wrench to him. 

“This?” he asks, tossing it to Rey. 

She snatches it out of the air and disappears back into the crawlspace. Finn looks at BB-8 and waves him over. 

“You gotta tell us where your base is,” he whispers. 

BB-8 chirps and shakes his head. Finn frowns, and in the absence of understanding what exactly the droid is trying to say, tries to discern at least which emotion the droid is trying to express. He comes up empty there too. 

“I don’t speak that,” he says, matter-of-factly, “Look, between us, I’m not with the Resistance, ok?” 

The droid rolls back a step and jerks his head up in surprise, his best approximation of a gasp, Finn assumes.

“I’m just trying to get away from the First Order,” he continues, “but you tell us where the base is, I’ll get you there first. Deal?” 

BB-8 cocks his head. 

“Droid, please!” he hisses.

“Pilex driver, hurry,” Rey says, poking her head back up. 

Finn turns back to the pile of miscellaneous junk. 

“So where’s your base?” she continues. 

“Go on BB-8, tell her,” Finn says. He gives the droid a pointed look, hoping it sounds like he’s just trying to include the droid in the conversation, and not like he’s begging for his cooperation. 

The BB-8 looks back and forth from him to Rey, chittering to himself.  _ “Please,”  _ Finn mouths. The droid finally gives in and beeps to Rey. 

“The Ileenium system?” Rey exclaims. 

“Yep, the Ileenium system, that’s the one,” Finn stammers, tossing Rey the driver, “Get us there as fast as you can.” 

He gives BB-8 a thumbs up as Rey ducks back down. The droid responds by unfolding his welding torch. Finn isn’t sure what he means by that, but he chooses to think it’s a reciprocation of friendship instead of a threat. 

“I’ll drop you two at Ponemah Terminal,” Rey says as she makes another adjustment to the  _ Falcon’s  _ failing motivator, then reemerges, “Hand me the bonding tape, hurry.” 

“What about you?” 

Rey looks at him as if he just told her banthas could fly. 

“I’ve got to get back to Jakku.” 

‘Back to Jakku’, she says, as if returning to a brutal wasteland where you can be mugged or die of thirst at any time is the most obvious, most sensible course of action.

Finn sucks in a breath as he grabs a roll of tape off the floor. 

“Back to Jak-?!” he starts. Stops. Takes another breath, “Why does everyone want to go back to Jakku?!”  

She ignores the question, pointing to the tape in Finn’s hand.

“It’s not that one.” 

He drops the tape and picks up another vaguely circular object. Not it. Another roll of tape. No. 

“The one I’m pointing to,” Rey says with barely contained annoyance, “No. No!” 

BB-8 finally gestures down at a roll of yellow tape on the ground as Rey starts shouting. 

“If we don't patch it up, the propulsion tank will overflow and flood the ship with poisonous gas!”  

Finn grabs the roll of tape. 

“This?” he asks, tossing it to her. 

“Yes.” 

She catches it and disappears again. Finn crawls up to the edge of the hole and looks down at her as she starts wrapping tape around one of the couplers. 

“Rey, you’re a pilot,” he says, “You can fly anywhere, why go back? You got a family?...You got a boyfriend? A cute boyfriend?” 

The vapor dissipates as Rey finishes her patch job and sticks her head out of the crawlspace. 

“None of your business, that’s why,” she retorts. 

Finn sighs, but decides it’s best not to annoy the person flying the ship. Rey crawls out of the hole, and Finn helps her push the grate back into place. Silence falls over the engine room once more. As Finn tries to think of something else to say, he hears a muffled crackle coming from the cockpit. Rey turns her head, picking up on the same noise. For half a second Finn wants to throw something across the room. What could  _ possibly  _ be wrong now? They run back to the cockpit, just in time to catch the tail end of a transmission coming through the speakers. 

_ “R2, you think they’re ignoring me?” _

Finn’s eyes immediately go to the windows, looking for signs that the First Order has followed them out here. Rey sits down in the pilot’s chair and hits the com button. 

“We’re here, please repeat,” she says. 

Finn snaps his head towards her and gestures frantically for her to cut off the communication. She responds with equally animated gestures, indicating he should sit down and shut up. He sighs and looks out the window again. As he turns his head from starboard to port, he spots the source of the transmission. 

“Rey,” he says, pointing. 

The ship isn’t like any ship Finn has ever seen in the First Order fleet, which offers him just the tiniest shred of relief. The light freighter isn’t much bigger than their ship, but its boxy shape gives it a wider silhouette. Its port and starboard engines jut out from the front like a pair of fins. Two airlocks in the back jut out at the same angle. Those elements combined with the cone-like cockpit upfront give the ship a sea turtle-like appearance. The red and gray paint job offsets some of the inherent friendliness of the ship’s shape, but even so, it’s hard to stay nervous. 

“Could be one of Plutt’s cronies,” Rey says. 

“So you’ve seen this ship before?” Finn asks. 

“No, but I don’t know  _ everyone  _ on Jakku.” 

_ “You took your time,”  _ the deep male voice replies _ , “Millennium Falcon, this is the Red Thranta, requesting permission to dock.”  _

Rey stares dumbfounded at the com panel for half a second. 

“Sorry, did you just say  _ Millennium Falcon?” _ she asks. 

“Dock? How the hell does he think he’s gonna dock? We don’t have airlocks,” Finn whispers. 

_ “Yes you do,”  _ the voice replies. 

“How do you know that?” Rey asks, “Who the hell are you?” 

_ “Ben. Solo. And I know that because that ship belongs to my father.”  _

Rey whips her head towards Finn. 

“Did you hear that? He said Solo! Solo, like Han Solo! This is his ship, we’re in the  _ Millennium Falcon! _ ” she whispers, her eyes wide with childlike glee. 

Finn stares at her and blinks, trying to process what she’s saying. 

“Han Solo, the rebellion general?” he asks. 

“No, the smuggler! This is the ship that made the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs!” 

_ “Don’t let my dad hear you say that,”  _ Ben mutters,  _ “You know I can hear you whispering, right?”  _

“Hang on, is he with you?” Rey asks.

_ “No. Sorry to disappoint. Where did  _ you  _ find it?”  _

“Niima Outpost.” 

_ “You found it in a junkyard?”  _

“Yes, thank you!” Finn says, giving Rey a smug look, “Junkyard.” 

Rey ignores him. 

“We stole it from Unkar Plutt,” she continues, “He’s been trying to sell it for ages.” 

Ben laughs. 

_ “No luck, obviously.”  _

“No.” 

_ “It was a piece of junk when it was new. I think my dad’s the only one who could still appreciate it,”  _ he says,  _ “Reduce speed and lower your shields. Once we’re docked we can talk more.”  _

“Alright.” 

She ends the transmission and starts slowing the ship to a stop. Outside the window the  _ Red Thranta  _ does the same. 

“Whoa whoa whoa, wait, we’re just gonna let him on board?” Finn asks. 

“If he is who he says he is, maybe he can help you and BB-8. An old rebellion general might have ties to the Resistance,” Rey replies. 

Finn doesn’t reply. She has a point. The com system crackles to life again. 

_ “Starting docking procedure. Stand by.”  _

The ship shudders as the  _ Thranta  _ lines up its docking tube with the  _ Falcon.  _ Rey gets up and heads back towards the port side airlock, Finn hot on her heels. BB-8 follows as well, chirping happily to himself. There’s a hiss of hydraulic steam as the air pressure stabilizes. Then the airlock door clicks and slides open. 

Ben is a lot taller than Finn was picturing, but otherwise he looks every bit like the son of a smuggler. Scuffed, faded leather jacket. Light blaster strapped to his thigh. Hands and boots both smeared here and there with engine grease that just won’t get out of the seams and creases. He walks into the Falcon with the casual confidence of someone coming home after a long day. For a moment he doesn’t seem to register that Finn and Rey are standing right there in the hallway as he crosses his arms and takes a look around, the ghost of a smile on his face. A blue and white astromech droid follows behind him, beeping something Finn can’t understand. 

“I know he will. I wish our coms had video,” Ben replies. Then he looks over at Finn and Rey, and the smile fades.

As he turns and starts walking towards them, Finn prickles. The way Ben approaches them is almost meek - slouching just enough to make his height less imposing, hands in the pockets of his jacket - but his expression is hardly defensive. His eyes linger on Finn a second too long, and there’s a flash of something steely and suspicious in them that sets him on edge. The look  disappears suddenly after Ben stops walking, which only fuels Finn’s anxiety further. 

“I didn’t catch your names,” Ben says casually. 

“I’m Rey.” 

“Finn.” 

Behind them BB-8 beeps and waves back and forth. Ben looks down at him, surprised, then back at the two of them. 

“So,” he says, eyes glancing back and forth from Finn to the droid, “Junkyard.” 

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” Rey said, a touch of confusion in her voice. 

“Find the droid in the junkyard, too?” 

“Yes?” 

“Jacket, too?” 

Rey looks over at Finn, and Finn’s heart plummets into his stomach. 

“Did you know Poe?” he asks. 

Ben doesn’t budge an inch. 

“How do you?” he asks, his tone rapidly becoming less friendly. 

Finn immediately goes on the defensive. He holds his hands out in front of him. 

“Look, we didn’t hurt him,” he promises, “We’re just trying to help.”

“He’s telling the truth,” Rey says, taking a step forward, “Finn is with the Resistance. He was trying to help Poe escape the First Order. We’re trying to get him and BB-8 back to their base.” 

Ben’s expression softens as Rey speaks, but he doesn’t release a bit of the tension in his shoulders as anger morphs into fear. 

“‘Was’?” he asks. 

Finn takes a deep breath. 

“We crashed in the desert,” he starts.

He searches Ben’s face as he talks, trying to glean any useful information that might tell him how best to phrase this, but he’s met with a wall. Were they friends? Just associates? He honestly can’t tell. Finally, he takes a breath and resigns himself to the truth. There’s no good way to tell anyone that someone they know is dead. Best to be direct. 

“Poe didn’t make it.” 

Any remaining anger or suspicion drains completely from Ben’s face as he searches Finn’s own expression for any sign of deception. Finding none, he releases a stunned breath and looks back down at BB-8. The droid chirps sadly, confirming their story. Rey frowns. 

“Were you friends, then?” she asks. 

“You could say that,” he murmurs.

He takes another deep breath and turns back towards the airlock, straightening his posture and shaking off any encroaching sadness. His astromech follows, beeping in concern. Its question goes ignored. 

“Let’s talk somewhere else. Follow me,” Ben says. 

Rey and Finn look at each other.

“I told you we wouldn’t have to fight him,” Rey whispers. 

“I don’t know, this feels worse somehow,” Finn replies. 

They walk down the  _ Thranta’s  _ long docking tube and arrive on a wide, dimly lit walkway that forms a circle around a huge piece of humming machinery. Wisps of steam curl off of pipes just under their feet, and grease hides in every dark crevice. The dull orange glow coming from the safety lights mixes with a pale white light coming from the other side of the machinery, casting short, shifting shadows throughout the engine room. Ben waves them over from one end of the walkway, leading them to a more brightly lit corridor leading towards the front end of the ship. 

The walkway ends at a small, open area with a row of crash seats lined up against a short wall that separates the machinery from the passenger areas. Further ahead is a wide hallway with a panel in the floor, bordered by hydraulics and yellow tape. A control panel is built into the wall nearby. Beyond that a ladder in the middle of the hall leads up to another deck of the ship, and the hallway splits into a T. 

Ben disappears up the ladder, but his droid pauses at the bottom and beeps questioningly. BB-8 rolls up to the bottom of the ladder and pauses. Looks up the ladder. Then at the astromech. Then at Rey and Finn, and back up the ladder. 

“You can stay, R2. Keep BB-8 out of trouble,” Ben says. 

BB-8 makes an indignant sound, but R2 seems very amused by the little droid’s predicament. Rey and Finn follow Ben up the ladder into the cockpit. 

The layout isn’t that unlike the  _ Falcon’s.  _ A large round window makes up the front, followed by two seats for a pilot and a copilot, then two more seats for other crew. The only differences are the two control panels and monitors built into the walls behind the pilot and copilot seats, which the two crew seats are turned to face so other crew members can operate the ship’s systems remotely. Finn expects to find more details of note besides the cockpit’s basic construction, but the space is remarkably clean and impersonal. Save for the occasional boot print or grease spot, it’s just as well kept as the corridors and walkways on the lower deck.  

Ben sits down in the pilot’s seat and begins warming the engines up for lightspeed. 

“How soon do you need to get back to your base?” he asks. 

“As soon as possible,” Rey says. 

“That droid is carrying a map to Luke Skywalker,” Finn adds. 

Ben freezes, his hand hovering over a switch on the dashboard. He puts his elbow up on the panel and turns to look at the two of them. 

“Is this some sort of prank? Have you two been messing with me this whole time?” he asks. 

“No! Why would we-?!” Finn stops. Sighs, “Why would we do that?”

“So you two show up flying my father’s ship, with my childhood best friend’s droid, who is carrying a map that leads to my uncle, which needs to get to the Resistance, which is lead by my mother,” Ben continues, “And that doesn’t sound like a joke to you?” 

“Yeah, when you put it that way, it does sound, uh...kind of...absurd,” Finn admits. 

“ _ Kind of? _ ” Rey asks, giving Finn an incredulous look. 

“Only kind of,” Ben says with mock reassurance, glancing at Rey. 

“Well we’re not lying,” Finn says, “I swear. This is all just some kind of...weird, crazy coincidence, or-or-...” 

Ben turns away from the controls half way through punching coordinates into the navicomputer and stands. 

“Hey where are you going?” Finn asks. 

“Jokes aside, if that map really leads to my uncle, I want to see exactly what BB-8 has before we leave. Personal investment. You understand,” Ben replies. 

He climbs back down the ladder. Finn looks at Rey and shrugs, and the two of them follow him down to the lower deck. BB-8 beeps at them as they do, clearly wondering what they’re up to now. Ben crouches in front of the droid. 

“Show me what you have,” he says. 

BB-8 chirps in agreement, then turns his head away from the group and powers up his projector. The corridor is filled with points of green light, each representing a planet, connected by lines and surrounded by more green specks that make up the stars. Ben takes a step forward, examining the hologram and trying to place the systems shown, but none of the planets pictured seem to have a star associated with them. 

“This map is incomplete,” he says, “It’s just one piece.”

“So where’s the rest?” Finn asks. 

“With the Resistance, I assume,” Ben says, “And likely the First Order as well.” 

He releases a nervous breath. 

“We should hurry.”

He turns and starts climbing back up the ladder to the cockpit, sending Rey and Finn scrambling again to keep up. 

“Do you already know where the base is?” Rey asks. 

“I’m not taking you to the base,” Ben replies, sitting back down and calibrating the navicomputer, “I’m taking you to someone else who can get you there. Then I need to call my dad and tell him I found his ship.” 

“Can’t you just take us there yourself and have your father meet us there?” 

“I can’t. I don’t know the base’s location, and I would prefer to keep it that way. It’s something mom has kept from me and my dad deliberately. She didn’t want any targets on our backs. Not to mention the  _ Falcon  _ is an easy ship to track. We have to offload it either way.” 

“So where are you taking us then?” Finn asks. 

“A family friend. She’ll get you on a clean ship back to the base. Strap in.” 

Finn and Rey take their seats. The hum of the engines rises to a dull roar. The navicomputer beeps, signaling its completion of the route. Ben pulls back the lever, the stars outside blur and stretch, and the  _ Thranta,  _ cargo in tow, shoots off into hyperspace. 

  
  



	2. Heirlooms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a lot to say about this one, just thank you to everyone who has commented or left kudos already. I appreciate you <3

Ben leaves R2 to manage the cockpit while the organic beings find something that passes for food in the _Thranta’s_ cramped kitchen. The excitement of the day finally catches up with Rey and Finn, and they sit down at the two person booth cut into the kitchen wall, eating their practically tasteless ship rations with little enthusiasm. Ben, on the other hand, can’t seem to stand still. He cleans garbage and dishes off the short countertop, puts some loose supplies away, and then sets about making a cup of caf. Even then, he still feels like his whole body is humming with thoughts and emotions he desperately doesn’t want to acknowledge.

“So if Luke Skywalker is your uncle, can you tell us what the map actually means?” Rey asks.

“I doubt it leads to him. At least not him alone,” Ben says, “Granted, the First Order has been looking for him since he disappeared, but I’m sure they’re more interested in what he’s protecting.”

“What is he protecting?” Finn asks.

“What’s left of his students. The last of the Jedi.”

An awed look comes over Rey’s face.

“The Jedi were real?” she asks.

Ben smiles at her, amused.

“Of course they were,” he says, “The Jedi, the Force. It’s all real.”

“Then what happened to Skywalker’s students?” Finn asks, “You said ‘what’s left.’”

Ben pauses and looks down at his caf.

“What do you know about the Force?” he asks.

“Nothing, really.”

“But you understand the concept.”

Blank stares. Ben sighs.

“The Force exists in and around all living things. It’s an energy that holds the universe together. And, just like any power, it can be used for good or for evil. Those who learn to wield the Force have to be mindful of this. Otherwise they risk falling prey to the Dark Side of the Force. Some are better at resisting the call than others. That’s true for all who know the Force, including my uncle’s students.”

“So his students...became evil, then? Turned to the Dark Side?” Rey asks.

“Only a few,” Ben says, “But it was enough. They turned on the others, slaughtered who they could, and fled. Uncle Luke took who was left and disappeared.”

“Why would they do that?”

“I don’t know.”

A brief, uncomfortable silence falls over the kitchen. Ben puts down his cup and puts his hands in his pockets, not exactly eager to continue this line of questioning. Unpleasant memories flicker in the corners of his thoughts as he thinks about his uncle’s self imposed exile and about the events in his own life that coincided with the academy’s destruction. They threaten to break the surface, but he pushes them back down. Back to his subconscious where they belong. He makes his way towards the door.

“We should arrive on Takodana within the hour. I’ll be in the cockpit,” he says, a clear indication that this conversation is over.

He can’t sense Rey and Finn’s emotions, but he doesn’t need to be a Jedi to feel their burning curiosity as he leaves the kitchen. It’s obvious they have more questions, but they’ll have to ask someone else. R2 meets him at the top of the cockpit’s ladder, informing him they are exactly forty-six minutes from reaching Takodana.

“Thank you, R2,” he says.

He sits down in the pilot’s chair and takes a deep breath. The hum of the engines and the whirring of R2’s servos are the only sounds that fill the space. A stark contrast from the constant chatter present since Rey and Finn arrived on board. For a moment he thinks he’ll be ok, and that he can sit in the silence and still stay focused. That moment doesn’t last long. A memory slips past his guard, and he thinks about the day they found out what happened to Luke’s academy. It was so long ago, almost eleven years now. It feels like a completely different world to him. The week before had been the most peaceful he’d had in such a long time. His dreams had been peaceful - no night terrors, no restless thoughts keeping him up - and his parents had finally stopped ambushing him with questions-.

He flinches and shakes the memory off.

_Stop it._

Thankfully, there’s still more to be done. He reaches over to the com panel and plugs in the contact number for the _Eravana._

There’s a moment of quiet before the coms crackle to life and his dad’s voice comes through.

“Hey there, kid. Is there a holiday I missed? Hey, Chewie! Guess who decided to call!” Han says.

“Hilarious.”

“If you’ve gotten yourself into trouble again, I’ve got a few problems of my own right now.”

“Do you? I actually have good news, but I suppose if the great Han Solo doesn’t have a moment to spare…”

“Save it. What is it?”

“I found her, dad.”

Han pauses, stunned.

“Found her, like..found _her?_ You found the _Falcon?”_

Ben grins.

“I did.”

“Wait, wait, _you_ found the _Falcon?_ We already checked along your normal routes! Where the hell was she?”

“Jakku. It was with someone named Unkar Plutt.”

“Chewie, I told you we should have checked the Western Reaches. Who the hell is Unkar Plutt? How the hell did he get it?”

“I’m not sure. I didn’t ask,” Ben pauses and sighs, “You should know, there is a small complication.”

“Oh great,” Han mutters, “Don’t tell me he gutted her.”

“No, she’s intact, but some of mom’s business came with her. I have the people who stole her from Plutt on board. They have Poe’s droid. He’s carrying sensitive information, and it needs to get back to the Resistance as soon as possible. I’m taking them to Takodana. After that we can find a place to meet.”

“Hang on a second, you’re not in any trouble are you?”

“I’m fine, Dad.”

“I know you are, I’m just worried you’re not the only ones interested in that ‘sensitive information.’”

“We’re not,” Ben says casually, “but I have it under control. Deal with your own problem, and I’ll call you.”

“Ben-.”

“Talk later.”

With that, he ends the transmission. No point in prolonging the conversation and giving his dad space to get all worked up. With any luck, this job will be short and easy.

He looks back out the window at hyperspace rushing by them. With nothing else to fill the silence, those pesky thoughts and emotions ambush him again.

_Poe’s dead._

It knocks the breath out of him for half a second as he’s whiplashed from unpleasant memories straight into somber present realities. The thought makes him blink, but it doesn’t quite sink in. He says it to himself again.

_Poe’s dead._

But no amount of repetition will make the thought sound any less absurd, of that he’s fairly certain.

Poe. Dead. Imagine someone like that dying. Even when they were children, he was a hot-head. Always racing off into danger, putting the burden of success on himself. After all, no one else in his mind was going to do the job right. It _had_ to be him flying every mission, always sticking it to the First Order. Ben knew deep down that it might get him killed one day. Even so, it all feels like a lie. Like some dark imagining conjured by fear and morbid curiosity, or a terrible question posed for fun. What if he _did_ die out there one day? How would he even deal with that? It’s not a question he’s ever asked himself, because no matter the scrap, Poe has always found a way out of it. Maybe there’s a chance he still could.

Ben takes a shaky breath and rubs his temples. He tries again to forget about it, smother the grief before it can even take its first breath. There’s dangerous work to be done. He can’t let himself get caught up in “what if.”

He hears a soft clang from the ladder and sits up straight. He looks to the back of the cockpit as Rey’s head emerges from the ladder well. R2 beeps a greeting.

“Hello yourself,” Rey replies, finishing her climb into the cockpit and standing up. She looks at Ben, “I don’t believe you introduced your droid.”

“R2-D2,” Ben says.

“Are you two really the only ones on board?”

“R2’s the only help I need. He runs the ship better than I do, frankly.”

Rey walks to the front and admires the ship with a curious but keen eye.

“This is a Gthroc 720, correct?” she asks.

“Correct.”

“I restored a 690 back on Jakku once. It crashed out in the cruiser graveyard. Took ages to get it cleaned up and running again.”

Ben raises an eyebrow.

“Really? By yourself?” he asks.

Rey’s nose wrinkles with annoyance.

“Not all by myself,” she says, “I did most of the work, but a couple of garbage pickers did help me.”

“What’s that face for?” he asks, unable to hide his amusement.

“Well they stole the ship as soon as we got back to Niima Outpost,” she replies, “Lost the ship _and_ my payment. I never should have trusted them.”

“Sounds like a disagreeable place. Are you from Jakku originally?”

“Yes. I’ve lived there my whole life.”

“Then where did you learn to pilot?”

“I taught myself. Through simulations, mostly, but I’ve flown plenty of real ships.”

“I can’t imagine there are a lot of working ones in a junkyard.”

“No, not really. The 690 was actually my first.”

She sits down in the copilot’s seat and stares for a moment at the swirl of hyperspace just out the window. He can’t help but follow her eyes, and it occurs to him that this may be her first time in hyperspace. He’s seen it hundreds of times over his life, enough to find it boring, but as he looks at it now, he feels a new appreciation for the way the light shifts and flashes through the brilliant blue portal around them.

“I’m sorry about your friend,” Rey says, looking over at him.

The softness in her voice surprises him. It isn’t often that one meets a scavenger with compassion for other people. Though in all fairness, he shouldn’t be that surprised by someone who stole a spaceship to help a couple of strangers. He sighs.

“Yeah, me too,” he murmurs.

Change the subject.

“So, Rey from Jakku, what will you do once we get your friends on a ship out of here?” he asks.

She pauses, a gentle look of concern on her face, but she lets it go. She looks back out the window.

“I have to get home,” she says, “I’ve been gone too long already.”

The look on her face echoes his own. Change the subject.

“Well since you’re a Gthroc expert, would you like a tour of the ship?” he asks, “I can show you around the _Falcon_ too if you like. I bet I could show you a few things you won’t find in any archives.”

Her eyes brighten.

“Absolutely!” she says eagerly.

He smiles and stands up. They head back to the lower deck and find Finn attempting a conversation with BB-8. The little droid chirps and rocks back and forth.

“I told you, I don’t know what that means,” Finn sighs.

“He’s saying you have some food on your chin,” Rey says.

Finn looks up at her with that dopey, confused face of his. Then he wipes the speck off his chin and looks down at BB-8 who beeps happily.

“Finn, do you want to come look around the ship with us?” Rey asks.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he replies.

“Might as well start with the _Falcon_. There’s more to see there anyway,” Ben says.

They venture back through the corridors of the _Thranta_ to the docking tube where the Falcon sits idle. They walk down the old ship’s grungy corridors, through the engine room.

“So what’s it like having a famous smuggler for a dad?” Rey asks.

“Somehow both more and less exciting than you would expect,” Ben replies.

“What does that mean?” Finn asks.

“It means I’ve been in more than one shoot-out with thugs my father swindled, but it also means half of my childhood was spent listening to him and Chewie argue about sensor arrays.”

“Sensor arrays can be exciting,” Rey says.

“Spoken like a scavenger.”

Ben’s eyes travel across the junk piled up in the engine room as they walk towards the opposite hallway, and they land on a small, bumpy sphere wedged between two coolant pipes near the floor. He raises an eyebrow. He hasn’t seen that thing in ages. How did it end up there? He stoops and picks up the sphere.

“Yeah, I saw that earlier,” Finn says, “What is it?”

Rey holds up her hand, and Ben tosses it to her. She catches it and furrows her brow in confusion.

“A training remote,” he says.

“Training for what?” Rey asks. She turns it over in her hands, looking at the many small emitters on its surface. She finds a switch on the bottom and presses it.

“Wait, don’t-,” Ben starts, but it’s too late.

The remote rises out of Rey’s hands and hovers in the air between the three of them. Ben’s eyes widen and he watches it move up and down, calibrating.

“Both of you step back, or it’ll-,” he starts.

The remote fires. Rey and Finn scream as a tiny bolt of energy hits Rey in the calf.

“What the hell, Solo?!” Finn yells.

“I told you not to turn it on!” Ben yells back.

“No you didn’t!”

The remote hisses quietly as it turns and moves again. Rey and Finn scramble out of the way as it fires another bolt. Ben takes a few steps forward and lunges for it just as it fires again. The bolt connects with his hand, and he jumps back, shaking his hand furiously. Rey grabs a roll of tape off the ground and throws it with as much power as she can muster at the remote. It connects, and the machine wavers and drops a few inches in the air. Ben lunges forward again and grabs it. He fumbles for the switch and finally turns it off. He sighs.

“It’s for lightsaber training,” he breaths, “You’re supposed to block those.”

“You’re sure it’s not some kind of torture device?” Finn asks.

“No.”

“So Jedi used to use this, then?” Rey asks.

“My uncle used it when he was younger to learn lightsaber technique. I didn’t realize it was still on the ship.”

“How are you supposed to know when it fires?”

“You use the Force.”

“How?”

“Something about trusting your instincts,” Ben says. He shrugs dismissively, “I wouldn’t know.”

He puts the remote back in a box with the rest of the junk, and the group moves on to the next room. Rey trots up alongside him.

“You know an awful lot about the Jedi for someone who isn’t one,” she says pleasantly, though it’s clear to Ben that she’s just fishing for more information.

He suppresses a sigh. Then shrugs.

“It comes with the legacy,” he says. He stops in the middle of the Falcon’s lounge area and puts his hands in his pockets, “Here’s the lounge. Watch your step. My dad has come up with all his worst ideas in here. It might rub off on you.”

Rey walks over to the bank of monitors and looks at the navigational charts flashing lazily across the screens. She watches another screen as live data from the ship’s computers updates. She expects to see rows of counters tracking fuel usage, power output, and other statistics, but instead the ship speaks in sentences, reporting their position and fuel efficiency with rows of letters.

“This ship is very strange,” she says.

“She hasn’t had a factory navicomputer in decades. It makes her...quirky,” Ben says.

Finn sits down at the booth on the other side of the room and leans on the table. As he does, a holoprojector flickers to life, displaying a dozen or so incorporeal monsters. He frowns in confusion, but Ben smiles. How long has it been since he played this game? Over a decade, surely.

“I can’t believe this still works,” he murmurs, walking over, “Have you ever played dejarik?”

“Uh, no?” Finn says.

“I wouldn’t make a good teacher. I’m terrible at it. I think Chewie let me win too many times as a kid.”

Finn hits another button, and one of the monsters walks forward to another space on the board. Then he switches the game off and leans forward on the table.

“So what do you do? Are you with the Resistance?” he asks, “Uh, because I’ve never seen you around before.”

Ben raises an eyebrow. Finn doesn’t move or look away, but Ben can practically see him sweating. He resists the urge to laugh.

“No, I’m not with the Resistance. I just transport cargo. Some legal...some not so much,” he says.

“So you’re a smuggler too,” Rey says.

“It was sort of an accident at first, but it pays the bills,” Ben shrugs, “I enjoy the challenge.”

“Between that and your family, I can only imagine the stories you could tell,” she says.

The awed curiosity is plain on her face, and it shouldn’t baffle him as much as it does - his parents were _war heroes,_ for gosh sakes, of course she’s heard stories - but he still finds himself wondering what she’d find interesting about being dragged to Senate meetings as a tiny child or about standing around holding a flashlight while his dad fixed the latest problem with the _Falcon’s_ ancient systems. Still, her imaginings aren’t entirely off base. As much as they tried to be a normal family, that was never really possible with history looming so close over their heads at every turn, for better or for worse.

“It’s...never boring.”

He hears a beep down the hall as R2 rolls up to the lounge. He announces that they’ll be exiting hyperspace soon. Finn stands up, and everyone leaves the _Falcon_ and heads for the _Thranta’s_ cockpit. Ben takes his seat in the pilot’s chair as the ship slows down, the stars blur and reappear, and a planet appears in front of them. Ben starts making adjustments for their decent, then looks at R2.

“R2, go back to the _Falcon_ and detach. Do you think you can land it on your own?” he asks.

R2 beeps in indignation. Of course, he wasn’t born yesterday. He rolls over to the ladder well, fires up his thrusters, and descends. A few minutes later, the ship shudders as the _Falcon_ detaches. They watch as the _Falcon_ flies off towards Takodana; then they begin their own decent.

They pass through light layers of high clouds as the sky turns from black to blue. Below them are vast swaths of rich green forests, interrupted only by winding rivers and wide lakes that reflect the sky like a mirror. Rey sits down in the copilot’s seat, unable to tear her eyes away. She looks far to the horizon, as if expecting the rolling hills to run out, but they stretch on for miles and miles below them. Her eyes nearly water as she drinks it all in, awestruck.

“I never knew there was this much green in the whole galaxy,” she murmurs.

Ben looks at her, almost just as floored by her sincerity as she is by the scenery. Then he looks back out the window and focuses on guiding them over a large stone castle and into an open clearing on the bank of the picturesque lake nearby.

Even before the landing sequence has finished, Rey is out of her chair and racing for the exit. She runs down the exit ramp and stares out at the view before her. She looks from the lake, reflecting the blue of the sky and the warm light of the sun, to the castle, covered in colorful banners. It’s almost too much for her to process, but she never wants to stop looking.

Ben finishes parking the ship and powering the engines down. Then he and Finn walk to the lower deck. Ben makes a detour into one of the two cargo bays, looking for a specific secret compartment. Finn trails along behind, eyes darting every which way, hands searching for something to occupy them.

“Hey, Solo, I’m not sure what we’re walking into here-,” he starts.

Ben hits one of the panels in the wall, and it pops open, revealing a small cache of blasters. He looks over at Finn, amused.

“Is there something wrong with my first name?” he asks.

“Uh, no. No. Sorry. Ben-,” Finn stammers.

Ben smirks.

“Finn, I’m messing with you.”

Finn stops fumbling his words, and his shoulders drop. He gives Ben a withering look, sighs, and continues.

“Ok, well, you should know, I’m a big deal in the Resistance, which puts a real target on my back. Are there any conspirators here? First Order sympathizers?” Finn asks.

“Is that so,” Ben says, retrieving a pistol and a blaster rifle, then closing the compartment. He passes the rifle to Finn, “Good for you.”

He smiles at Finn with just a bit too much friendliness. Based on the look Finn gives him in return, it’s clear he’s caught on. Ben never bought his Resistance lie for a second. Not that it matters. If he wants to lie about where he came from, that’s his business. As long as it doesn’t get anyone hurt, Ben couldn’t care less about why he’s running from the First Order.

They walk down the boarding ramp and out into the warm, Takodana sun. BB-8 has joined Rey, and they watch as R2 comes rolling through the trees towards them. Once he sees Ben, he informs him that the _Falcon_ is safe and parked in another clearing not far away.

“Thank you, R2,” he says. Then he turns his attention to Rey, “Rey.”

She turns around, and he holds the blaster pistol out to her.

“Just in case,” he says.

She raises an eyebrow.

“I think I can handle myself.”

“I don’t doubt you can punch your way out of any trouble, but I thought a blaster would be more efficient.”

She reaches out and takes it.

“You know how to use that, don’t you?” he asks.

She points it out towards the lake and closes one eye.

“Yeah, you pull the trigger,” she says.

“It helps to take the safety off.”

“Oh, right.”

“You might want to wait until there’s something to shoot.”

Behind them BB-8 chirps impatiently.

“Alright, BB-8. We’re coming,” Rey replies, turning around and joining him and Finn.

“R2, stay with the ship,” Ben says.

Then the four of them set off along the lake towards Maz’s castle.

  



	3. Refusing the Call

The inside of the castle is warm, crowded, and lively. A band plays a jaunty tune in one corner. Clusters of pirates, smugglers, and scoundrels gather in the others. There are people drinking, people gambling, and even some sleeping on the old, mismatched furniture. Someone roasts some kind of animal Rey doesn’t recognize over a fire pit. Beyond that, a droid serves drinks at a bar. Between the dim light and dusty air, it’s not unlike Unkar Plutt’s outpost, but the atmosphere is completely different. It feels jovial, but reserved. And maybe just a little bit dangerous. 

Ben stops and surveys the crowd before zeroing in on the bar. It takes Rey a moment to see what he’s looking at: a tiny woman with orange skin and huge goggles returning a tray of glasses. 

“Is that Maz?” Finn asks as they start walking towards the bar. 

“It is. Be nice,” Ben warns. 

She turns around as they approach, and her eyes light up. 

“Ben, sweetheart, it’s been far too long!” she exclaims. 

Ben grins.

“It’s good to see you too, Maz,” he says. 

“Far,  _ far  _ too long,” she continues, looking him over, “Did you forget how to cut your hair since we last spoke?”

Rey chuckles. Ben sighs, but doesn’t argue. 

“So, what are you here for? I doubt you’re just being social,” Maz says, her eyes narrowing. 

Ben certainly didn’t seem nervous before, but as she puts her hands on her hips, he becomes almost uncharacteristically sheepish, like a child being scolded. 

“I need your help,” he admits.

“I figured as much. You haven’t brought your troublesome father have you? Or his Wookiee?”

“No, it’s just me.”

“That’s a shame. I’ve been missing my boyfriend,” she says, “Alright. Let’s get to it.” 

She leads them to a round table off to the side, away from the worst of the noise. She barks at a droid to find them some food and drinks before gesturing at them all to sit down. 

“So,” she says, not wasting any time, “What sort of mess have you gotten yourself into this time?” 

“Family business,” Ben says, “That droid is carrying a map to my uncle’s academy, and it needs to get back to the Resistance as soon as possible.” 

“Hm, that is a mess.” 

Maz’s droid returns and sets down plates of fruit and hors d’oeuvres. For a moment their reason for being here disappears completely from Rey’s mind as she takes in the bright colors and tantalizing smells. She doesn’t know where to start, and it takes all her self control not to start shoveling food into her mouth. And into her bag, for that matter. 

“They need a clean ship,” Ben continues, “Mine is too old. I wouldn’t trust it.” 

“Is it your ship you don’t trust, or yourself?” Maz asks. 

Rey looks up from her third hors d’oeuvres. Ben takes a deep breath and looks away for a moment, clearly annoyed and looking no less like a scolded kid. 

“Are we really doing this now? Maz, I need you to get this droid to my mother.”

“No, Ben. You’ve been running from this fight for too long.” 

He takes a sharp breath in, a retort on his tongue, but he stops himself and sits back in his chair. Finn looks from him to Maz, rising panic on his face. 

“Please, we came here for your help,” he pleads. 

“What fight?” Rey asks. 

Maz turns to look at her, her expression grim. Her eyes darken with the sadness of someone who has lived too long and seen too much, but also the conviction of someone who has learned through their suffering, over and over again, how to face those demons.

“The  _ only _ fight,” she says, “Against the Dark Side. Throughout the ages, I have seen evil take many forms. The Sith. The Empire. Today, it is the First Order. Their shadow is spreading across the galaxy. We must face them. Fight them. All of us.” 

Finn looks at her, his face stoic, but he can’t hide the fear in his eyes. It’s different from the loud, animated fear he’s shown them before. This goes far deeper. Up until now, his fear propelled him forward - to get them off Jakku, to escape the First Order - but this fear is paralyzing. 

“There is no fight against the First Order,” he says, his voice low and serious, “Not one that we can win.” 

His thoughts have been plain on his face, but it still comes as a shock to hear them spoken out loud. Just how long has he been sitting on this? What is he  _ thinking?  _ Rey can’t help but gape at him as he continues. 

“Look around. There’s no chance we haven’t been recognized already. I bet you the First Order is on their way right-.” 

He stops as Maz narrows her eyes at him and begins adjusting her goggles. Her small eyes become huge and round. 

“What’s this, what are you doing?” Finn asks. 

She ignores him and adjust her goggles further. She leans forward for a closer look, and when that doesn’t satisfy her, she crawls up on the table, knocking over cups as she goes. Finn recoils as far as his seat will allow. He looks over at Ben. 

“Solo, what is she doing?” 

“Nothing that’ll kill you,” Ben replies. 

“If you live long enough, you see the same eyes in different people,” Maz says, “I’m looking at the eyes of a man who wants to run.”

Finn’s expression becomes stoney and he leans forward again. 

“You don’t know a thing about me,” he pushes back, “Where I’m from. What I’ve seen. You don’t know the First Order like I do. They’ll slaughter us. We all need to run.”

Rey stares at him, unable to comprehend what she’s hearing, but Maz doesn’t seem at all surprised. She backs off and takes her seat again. 

“You see those two?” she says, gesturing across the cantina, “They’ll trade work for transportation to the Outer Rim. There you can disappear.” 

Finn looks over his shoulder, very seriously considering it. 

“Finn!” Rey exclaims, resisting the urge to smack him. 

He turns to her. 

“Come with me,” he urges.

“What about BB-8? We’re not done yet. We have to get him back to  _ your  _ base!” she replies. 

He takes a deep breath. There’s obvious sadness in his eyes, but it’s not enough to change his mind. 

“I can’t.” 

He stands and holds the blaster rifle, still in his hands, out to Ben. Ben looks up at him, an inscrutable expression on his face. 

“Keep it,” he says gently. 

Rey wonders if she ought to smack him too. She looks from him to Maz, silently pleading with them to do something, but neither of them move. She frowns and pushes herself back from the table, then hurries after Finn. She watches him sit down in front of the smugglers, already beginning his negotiations. She walks up to him. 

“What are you doing?” she hisses. 

Finn looks up at her, then to the smugglers. 

“Don’t leave without me,” he says. 

Then he stands and follows her away from the table. 

“You can’t just go! I won’t let you,” she exclaims.

She wants to launch into a lecture, ask him if this is how Resistance fighters get things done and if so they’re all doomed for sure, but he stops her, almost as if he read her mind. His expression is restless, verging on annoyance that his attempts at fleeing keep being interrupted, but any frustration he feels is rapidly overshadowed by anxiety as he looks at her. His expression is pained, as if he knows what has to be said, but isn’t sure how to say it.

“I’m not who you think I am,” he says. 

“Finn, what are you talking about?” 

“I’m not Resistance! I’m not a hero,” he says. He pauses and waits to see if she’ll respond, but all she can do is stare at him. Realizing it’s still up to him to keep talking, he sighs. That same pained expression crosses his face, but there’s no turning back now. 

“I’m a stormtrooper,” he explains, “Like all of them, I was taken from a family I’ll never know, and raised to do one thing. But my first battle, I made a choice. I wasn’t going to kill for them. So I ran. Right into you. And you looked at me like no one ever had. I was ashamed of what I was, but I’m done with the First Order, and I’m never going back. Rey, come with me.” 

A dozen different thoughts go through her head, all trying to decide which of them should be the one she voices. Part of her is still angry with him, but that part burns out almost immediately. With the way he’s looking at her, with such pure love and gratitude, she can’t possibly believe he lied in order to hurt her. She can’t blame him for hiding who he was, and as she mulls over his words, she can’t blame him for wanting to disappear either. In the end, only one thought survives. 

“Don’t go,” she urges.

He looks up at her, sadness returning to his eyes. For a moment, she thinks maybe, just maybe, he’ll change his mind. That they can move past this and complete their mission. He wrestles with his own thoughts for a moment, then comes to his decision. 

“Take care of yourself,” he says, “Please.” 

She never knew a gesture of goodwill could be so devastating. She can’t even bring herself to say goodbye or tell him to do the same. As he turns his back on her and follows the smugglers out the front door, she can only stare and feel her heart aching. 

_ Gone. Just like everyone else.  _

Then the moment passes. She breathes in deep, trying to clear her head. There are still people who need her help. She can still do something. She turns and starts walking back towards their table. Then a sound rises above the din of the cantina. 

She turns her head, unsure of what she just heard. Then it comes again. Faint and hard to distinguish, but just strange enough to catch her attention. Looking at the other patrons, no one else seems to hear it. It’s up to her to investigate, then. She walks deeper into the cantina, past the tables and booths all the way to the very back. A set of stone stairs beckons her deeper into the castle, and just beyond that, she hears the sound again: a faint, human cry. 

The voice of a little girl, crying out in desperation and fury, echoes off the stone walls. Rey hesitates at the top of the stairs as her heart beats faster. Next to her, BB-8 rolls up and looks at her, curious. She barely registers that he’s there. She waits for the voice to come again, but it’s quiet. Then she walks down the stairs. 

They lead to a dimly lit basement. One long room stretches out in front of her, and lining the walls are half a dozen heavy metal doors. She sees lanterns, cobwebs, and plenty of small stones chipped off of the centuries old architecture, but she sees no signs of any other life forms. She hears the cry again, but it doesn’t seem to come from any one source. Her fear turns to confusion as she wanders down the corridor. If a child were injured or lost down here, wouldn’t she see her, or at least be able to tell where she went?

She pauses by one of the doors, as if commanded by some authority she can’t see to stop. In the second it takes her to wonder if the door is locked, the keypad blinks from red to white, and the door slides up. 

The room is full of boxes, statues, vases, and even machine parts, all of which are covered in a thick layer of dust. Everything in the room blends together into the same shade of dull brown, but Rey immediately knows which box is most important. She walks forward, right to the gnarled wooden chest near the back, and kneels in front of it. She hesitates for a moment, unsure of what to expect. Then she lifts the latch and opens the lid.

Inside is a smooth metal tube with some kind of rubber grip on one end and an emitter on the other. In the back of her head she starts running through ideas of what this could be, but that little voice starts to fade the longer she looks at it, replaced with directionless wonder. She reaches out, unsure at first, but it’s impossible to keep her curiosity at bay. Her hand closes around the object. 

And the world around her goes dark. 

She jumps back with a gasp as a loud, mechanical sound echoes through her head. It’s unfamiliar, but she doesn’t have time to contemplate its source. The sound of someone, or something, breathing fills the room as the space around her darkens and shifts. She hears lights blink on behind her, and when she turns, she’s facing a long, triangular corridor. 

Her heart pounds. She hears another scream. She tries to breathe so she can think about what she should do, but her body is faster. She begins running down the corridor, and as soon as she does, the floor shifts under her. She hears the grinding of rocks, then the deafening smash of boulders collapsing. She’s thrown sideways, tumbling through the air until she hits a patch of soft earth. She looks up as she hears an agonized voice crying out, different from before. This time, it’s the voice of a man. She feels the heat on her face and smells the smoke, and though she can’t see it in the shifting darkness, she knows there is fire all around her. 

Then she sees R2, and beside him, a cloaked figure. For a brief moment she wonders if it’s Ben, until she sees the figure raise a stripped, cybernetic hand. She jumps as a crash of thunder comes from above, and a wall of rain slams down onto her. She hears that mechanical sound again, almost like a laser firing, but not quite. She rolls over and stares up at a dark, masked figure looming over her just as he’s run through by a burning red blade. 

She scrambles to her feet, squinting through the rain at a small group of people, all dressed in black. In the center is the figure who wields the glowing red blade as they turn away from their kill and begins stalking back towards the group.

They’re draped in an asymmetrical black cloak that whips around their legs in the icy wind, and underneath she can see layers of black wrappings and glints of dark armor. A hood covers their head, obscuring their face. For a moment Rey is frozen in place. Then the figure stops. Cocks their head, listening. Then they turn their head, revealing a threatening, inhuman black mask. The mask has no facial features, save for the narrow red lense that cuts across where the eyes should be. A slightly raised triangle makes up the chin, and from the cheeks and forehead extend four curved, tube-like extensions that disappear into the back of the hood. Though she can’t see their eyes, she knows immediately that they’ve seen her. She’s overcome by a wave of emotions that seem to radiate from the figure. Fear. Hatred. Jealousy. Desperation. Rage. It soaks into her, filling her head with dark, panicky thoughts. She only has the consciousness to turn and run as the figure stalks towards her with malicious intent.

As soon as she turns away, the rain evaporates and she’s blinded by searing sunlight. She hears the scream of the little girl again and finally sees the source. Her breath catches in her throat as she stares down at herself, young and wailing out her grief, pleading for her parents to come back. Unkar Plutt tells her to be quiet, but her younger self doesn’t listen. Rey spins around when she hears an engine firing, and she watches a ship rise up into the sky. 

The sky turns black, and the sun dims to a dull red. The spaceship disappears. She chokes back a harsh pang of sadness as the landscape shifts once again from burning Jakku sand to a dark, frigid forest. From somewhere among the trees, she hears a voice whisper her name. Again her legs propel her forward. She dodges through the trees, her feet slipping through the snow. She nearly falls as a figure springs out from behind a boulder, and she realizes in horror that it’s the masked figure from before. They lunge at her, saber brandished, and Rey falls backwards as a voice whispers to her: 

_ “These are your first steps.”  _

And she’s back. The constant hum of the air around her and the whispering of voices she’s never heard before all go quiet, leaving her alone on the ground in the basement of Maz’s castle. Her heart still pounds, and she draws in shallow breaths, trying to get her legs to stop shaking. Tears prick at her eyes, and despite her best efforts to pull herself together, dread fills her entire body until she can think about nothing else. 

“Rey? Rey, are you ok?” 

She turns her head and sees Ben’s silhouette in the dark hallway as he runs over to her. 

“What was that?” she asks, her voice shaking. 

“What was what?” he replies. 

She gets to her feet and looks from Ben back to the room. The old wooden chest still sits in its place, unopened and unassuming. She looks back down the hallway and sees the diminutive figure of Maz coming down the stairs as well. 

“I shouldn’t have gone in there,” she says. 

Maz doesn’t seem to mind. Instead, her eyes are wide with wonder. Ben watches Maz as she comes down the corridor, then looks at Rey, curious. 

“What did you see?” he asks. 

She isn’t sure how to respond. No amount of words feel quite right. He looks into the room and walks inside as Maz approaches Rey. 

“That lightsaber was Luke’s, and his father’s before him,” she says, “And now, it calls to you!”

“Luke?” she stammers, “Luke as in Luke  _ Skywalker?”  _

Ben reemerges, the lightsaber in his hand. He turns it over, examining it with a mixture of reverence and apprehension. He looks at Maz.

“Where did you find this?” he asks. 

“That is a story for another time,” Maz says, “but it has been here a very long time, waiting for the right person to come along.” 

She looks back up at Rey, who still doesn’t know how to process any of this. She takes another shaky breath and releases a breathy, incredulous laugh. 

“You can’t mean me. Why would it call to me? If anything it should be calling to him,” she says, gesturing sharply at Ben. 

“That isn’t always how it works,” Maz says. 

Rey shakes her head in disbelief. 

“No, no I-I’m no one. That makes  _ no  _ sense.” 

“Rey.” 

She turns to look at Ben as he speaks. He takes a step closer. 

“I don’t know why it called to you,” he says simply, “but the fact is, it did. It isn’t something you should ignore.” 

She looks at the lightsaber in his hand, held loosely between the two of them, and for half a second she feels the urge to take it. She fights the feeling off, banishing it from her mind as her fear of the thing continues to rise. She shakes her head.

“I have to get back to Jakku,” she insists, glancing back towards the staircase. 

Ben looks at her sadly. 

“You keep saying that, but you don’t mean it,” he says, “Whoever you’re waiting for...you know the truth. They’re gone.” 

The tears gathering in her eyes finally spill. She wants to tell him to shut up, tell him he doesn’t know for sure. She wants to find malice in his eyes, some kind of confirmation that he meant his words to hurt as much as they do, just so she has some other target for her grief. But she doesn’t see it, and her anger fizzles. 

“Dear child,” Maz says, holding her hand out towards Rey. Rey hesitates a moment before taking it and crouching down to meet her, “The belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead. I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. It moves through and surrounds every living thing. Close your eyes. Feel it.” 

She closes her eyes, but Rey can’t bring herself to play along. 

“The light. It’s always been there. It will guide you,” Maz continues. She opens her eyes, “The saber. Take it.” 

Rey takes another deep breath, and finally all the emotions swirling inside her seem to quiet themselves. She stands and shakes her head. 

“I am never touching that thing again,” she says, “I want no part of this.” 

She can see the disappointment on Maz’s face, but she doesn’t care. She breezes past her and starts running for the stairs. The air around her feels thick, and the darkness of the basement feels like it’s pressing down on her. She can’t take it. She can’t give up. A little voice in the back of her mind - the voice that seems to grow stronger and stronger with every passing rotation that she spends alone in the belly of her hollowed out walker - whispers to her to stop. She pushes it aside and starts to sprint, desperate to be anywhere but here. 

She pushes her way out of the cantina, ignoring surprised and annoyed exclamations from patrons, and throws herself out into the fresh air. BB-8 follows behind her, beeping in concern, but she doesn’t stop running. She pushes herself further and further until she disappears into the forest beyond. 

* * *

Maz sighs.

“You could have been a little kinder with that,” she chides. 

“I didn’t say anything she doesn’t already know, Maz,” Ben replies. 

“Well, give her time,” she says, “She will come back when she’s ready.” 

He looks back down at the lightsaber still in his hand. Its weight seems to increase the longer he thinks about it, and yet, it still doesn’t feel real. He knew the saber existed, of course. Though it isn’t something his family likes to talk about, he did eventually, through years of questioning, learn the whole story of how his uncle lost his hand, which of course ended with the lightsaber being lost. Luke said once he was sure it was somewhere far below Cloud City, likely destroyed by the pressure at Bespin’s core. It’s a miracle it survived and resurfaced after all these years. 

His thoughts are interrupted as Maz turns her attention to him, and her pity morphs into motherly disapproval. He looks back at her and resists the urge to turn and run himself. 

“Speaking of denying one’s destiny,” she says, crossing her arms, “I see you’ve still severed yourself from the Force.” 

Ben huffs in frustration. He should have known this would come up again later. 

“You know it’s too dangerous, Maz.”

“No. I don’t know that.”

He isn’t sure how to respond to that. Maz continues.

“You tell Rey that the Force is calling to her, and yet you have ignored its call your whole life,” she says. Though her tone is still disapproving, there’s a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, “I’m sure you can appreciate the irony.” 

Ben fails to find the humor. 

“You know why I did that. You  _ helped  _ me do that.” 

The playfulness drains from Maz’s face, and she looks at him sadly.

“Because I thought it would help you figure out who you were, but Ben...that was a long time ago. You are not a child anymore. It’s time to stop acting like one.” 

He frowns at her, his patience wearing thin.

“Becoming a Jedi was never my destiny,” he says.

“And Jedi are the only people who can learn the ways of the Force?” Maz asks, “The Force is one energy, but the teachings and philosophies around it number in the thousands. If the ways of the Jedi feel like the wrong path, then explore others.” 

“That’s easy for you to say.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“You might have had the freedom to explore other paths, but that was never a choice for me! I used to wake up every day angry and afraid, and every day the only choice I had was whether or not to give into it. Whether to force it down and feel it trying to tear me apart, or give into it and let someone else get hurt for once! That choice alone should never have been difficult, but it was, Maz! You can explore the Force freely because you don’t have to make that choice! You can always choose the light because your choices aren’t a matter of life or death!”

He stops and takes a breath, closing his eyes and trying to bring himself back down. 

“There’s a monster in me,” he says, “and I will gladly sacrifice my connection to the Force if that means it will be silent.”

Maz sighs and comes closer. 

“Come here,” she says softly. 

Reluctantly, he crouches down, and she takes his hand. 

“There is dark and light in all of us,” she says, “Hundreds of Jedi over the centuries have been tempted by the darkness. Those who were able to overcome it far outnumber those who failed.” 

“I happen to be related to one of those failures.” 

“Ben, I have never seen a love of darkness in you. I know what you believe, but that voice inside your head that tells you there is only one path for you is not your own. The Dark Side is not an inherent part of your being, any more than it was part of Anakin Skywalker’s. He was not born Darth Vader, and neither were you.” 

“Maz...it just isn’t possible.” 

“The longer you tell yourself that, the longer you will suffer. You say you’re at peace with your decision, but I see as much pain in you now as I did then. Stop torturing yourself over what could be. Let yourself be truly at peace.” 

For a moment, he almost wants to listen to her. 

“...I should go.” 

He holds the saber out towards her, but she puts her hand on his and pushes it back. 

“Keep it,” she says, “The girl may change her mind yet.” 

She gives him a pointed look, but he ignores it. He tucks the saber inside his jacket and stands. 

“I hope so.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's go time, folks. Shit's about to hit the fan.


	4. Shit, Meet Fan

Finn helps his new smuggler acquaintances load box after box of cargo onto their ship. Though he moves quickly, his body is on autopilot. In his head, he does what he was trained to do: analyze the situation and come up with a plan. With the tumultuous changing of power between different crime families, the First Order has never found purchase in the Outer Rim. There are hundreds of planets there alone, and any one of them would be easy to hide on. Once again, he has an important choice to make. A real choice, not just to survive, but to live. He just needs to play his cards right. 

As he carries the next box up the boarding ramp, he listens to the chatter of the pirates, the quiet hum of insects in the forest, and the sound of his own footsteps clanging on the metal of the ship. Then a new sound reaches his ears, coming from nowhere and everywhere all at once. At first it sounds like a formless din, but as he turns and looks up at the sky, it becomes the screams of dozens of people, all at once. A red streak burns far, far above the atmosphere, and Finn’s heart plummets. 

_ Starkiller.  _

He drops the box and starts running. 

Outside Maz’s castle, a crowd gathers to watch as the red streak becomes a series of dull, fiery blooms. There are murmurs of shock and confusion among everyone gathered, but no one seems to know what horrific event they just witnessed. He spots Ben among the crowd and runs up to him. 

“It’s the Republic!” he calls, “The First Order, they’ve done it.”

He pauses and takes another look around. 

“Where’s Rey?”

“I...don’t know,” Ben says, still distracted as he glances back up at the sky as the distant fire above them continues to spread. 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Finn asks, trying to bring him back down to earth. 

Ben tears his eyes away and takes a breath. 

“She was upset, and she ran off. I haven’t seen her.”

“...Was she upset because of me?” 

“No. No, she-.” 

The crowd suddenly goes quiet as the dull roar of engines sounds over the hills. As the roar grows louder, it morphs into the growling whine of an all too familiar craft. Without warning or fanfare, dozens of TIE fighters scream through the sky above them, followed by troop carriers and other landing vehicles, swarming like insects to their target. Finn’s blood runs cold. 

“You know what, tell you later,” Ben says. 

Everyone panics at once as the TIE fighters circle back around and begin raining fire down on the forest. People scatter in all different directions, some to the woods, some towards the lake, and others back into the castle. As shells from the TIEs impact the ground, sending showers of dirt and rock high into the air, Finn grabs Ben’s arm and pulls him into the crowd rushing for the castle. They duck inside the doorway, flinching as the ground begins to shake. 

“We have to find Rey,” Finn says frantically, “If they find her, they’ll kill her.” 

Ben looks back the way they came as another squadron of ships flies overhead. A series of tremors batters the castle’s foundation as one of the courtyard’s walls explodes into fire and dust before collapsing. 

“Solo, are you listening to me?!” 

“Yes, I am, but we’re cut off!” 

“Boys!” 

They turn and look as Maz appears further inside the cantina. 

“Follow me!” she calls, “There’s another way out!” 

They run through the cantina, dodging prone chairs and dropped glasses, and follow Maz towards the back. Another ear-splitting crack rings through the open chamber as another piece of the castle starts to collapse. Maz leads them through a long hallway, past rows of lanterns that swing from their hooks. At the end is a narrow doorway. Just beyond, Finn can hear the marching of boots and the distorted voices of stormtrooper commanders. He grabs Ben again and tries to slow their group down, tell them to wait, but it’s too late. A squadron of troopers comes marching in, blocking their exit. 

“Halt!” 

“Maz, does your connection with the Force allow you to teleport?” Ben mutters. 

“I’m afraid not.” 

“Drop your weapons. You are under arrest by order of Supreme Leader Snoke,” the commander barks. 

Ben frowns and looks at Finn and Maz. 

“Smoke?” he asks. 

“Snoke,” the commander snaps, “Supreme Leader Snoke.” 

“I don’t know anything about a Smoke. Is he on the holonet?” 

The commander takes another step forward, jabbing a blaster at Ben.

“Drop your weapons!” 

Ben, apparently not done, responds with mock scrutiny.

“What makes him supreme?”

If there weren’t blasters pointed at them, Finn would slap him. The commander continues to glare at them, weapon raised. Ben sighs. 

“Alright. You win.”

He looks at Finn. Finn glares at him and shakes his head, but Ben doesn’t budge. Finally he relents and hands the rifle over. Ben tosses it on the ground in front of the troopers. The commander gestures to the blaster at Ben’s hip. 

“That too.” 

“You should come get it. I can’t be trusted with lasers,” Ben says. 

The half of the squadron still crammed in the doorway looks up as the roar of another passing TIE rings out. 

“Look out!” one of them yells. 

The troopers outside turn to run, and the commander’s head whips around just as the incoming shells collide with the castle. The walls shake and crack and dust rains from the ceiling. 

“Go, run!” Ben yells, drawing his blaster and waving Finn and Maz back down the hallway. 

He waits half a second for the troopers to fire, but none of them are focused on them anymore. Then he starts running as well. Maz comes to a halt in a doorway and holds her arms out. 

“Brace yourselves!” she shouts over the din of crumbling rock. 

Then the whole castle comes down on top of them. 

* * *

Running for the forest seemed like a good idea at the time, but now it’s clear separating from the group was a huge mistake. First Order ships race overhead, straight for the castle, filling the once peaceful forest with the growl of engines and the stink of fuel. Her feet move of their own accord, and she sprints for the treeline. She doesn’t think of the consequences of throwing herself right into whatever skirmish is about to break out. Her only thought is of her newfound friends and the danger they’re surely in. BB-8 rolls along behind her, chittering fearfully. When she hears him beeping, she stops and turns around.

“No, you need to get out of here. Your mission is too important,” she says. 

She’s cut off by the distant sound of explosions ahead of them. Her heart starts pounding, and she starts running again. She scrambles up a low embankment, right up to the edge of the trees, and stares down at the scene before her. She’s shocked by how quickly the serenity of the lakeside devolved into chaos. The castle crumbles, fighters rain fire down on fleeing crowds, and transports land in a loose barrier on the edge of the forest, deploying squad after squad of stormtroopers. Their white armor gleams in the sunlight, making each and every one stand out and emphasizing just how outnumbered they all are. Her mouth goes dry, and she comes to a terrible realization: she can’t get to them. Wherever Finn and Ben are, they’re barred from her behind columns of erupting earth and dozens of armed men. 

She catches movement in the corner of her eye, and she startles backwards as a trooper walks into the woods on a path just below her. She freezes where she stands, but he doesn’t seem to notice her. She points her blaster at him and squeezes the trigger, but nothing happens.

“Oh, safety,” she whispers frantically to herself, pulling the blaster back and fumbling with the safety switch. 

She whips the blaster back up, takes only a second to line up her shot, and fires. 

The bolt explodes against the trooper’s armor, and he screams, stumbling forward and falling into the leaf litter. Rey draws in a sharp breath, her knuckles white as she waits for the trooper to get up. He doesn’t. She swallows hard and looks at the gun, then back at him. She killed him. She really killed him.

_ Ok. It’s ok. I can do this. I can do this.  _

“Hey!” 

She wheels around when she hears another shout. Two more troopers run towards her, blasters raised. Her first shot goes wide, but the second finds its mark, and a second trooper goes staggering to the ground, dead. She feels a brief surge of confidence, but it doesn’t last long. After the first few shots, Rey realizes she’s far outmanned and outgunned. Taking out the last one would be easy, but beyond him is a whole battlefield full of backup, and they’ve surely noticed her by now. The remaining trooper charges towards her and unleashes a volley of blaster bolts. The bolts explode against the trees behind her as she scrambles backwards and ducks back into the undergrowth.

The trooper crashes through the brush after her. She slides back down the embankment, and as soon as she reaches the bottom, she plants her feet, spins around, and fires another shot. It strikes the trooper’s helmet, dead on, and the trooper screams and tumbles down the slope to the ground. She exhales. Her hands start to shake. Then she turns and runs further down the path to join BB-8, who is right where she left him. He beeps loudly in concern and wavers back and forth in place. She crouches down in front of the droid. 

“I’m ok. You have to keep going. Stay out of sight. I’ll try to fight them off.” 

BB-8 chirps bravely and says he hopes they’ll see each other again. 

“I hope so too,” Rey encourages him.

Then she stands and runs back up the path towards a wide tree whose gnarled roots grow across the forest trail. She ducks down behind it and watches as BB-8 rolls off down the path, deeper into the woods. The whir of the little droid’s servos grows quieter and quieter, until the only thing she can hear is the sounds of battle behind her. She takes a deep breath and holds her blaster close. And she waits. 

Blood pounds in her ears, and she strains to hear any sign that the troopers have followed her. Stomping boots, clicking armor, the crackle of a comlink. But she hears nothing else. Did they really not call for backup? Could she have gotten the last one before he got the chance? It seems too good to be true, but even so, she should take advantage of it.

She turns away from the tree and sprints further down the trail. Bit by bit she makes her way over rocks, down into hollows, and through thickets, glancing behind her as she goes to make sure she isn’t being followed. The sounds of blaster fire start to fade. Soon she hears nothing except the chirping of distant animals and the sound of her own terrified breathing. 

* * *

Finn coughs and wipes dust off of his face as his ears finally stop ringing with the sound of tumbling stone. He looks down at his arms and legs, wondering why he hasn’t been crushed to death by now. When he looks up again, he gets his answer. Though half of the castle around them has been reduced to jagged rubble and pieces of broken stonework, the doorway and a few adjacent walls still stand, shielding them from the worst of the collapse. He can feel a few bruises forming where pieces of rock struck him, but otherwise he, Ben, and Maz all seem miraculously unscathed.

“Rey and BB-8 need your help,” Maz shouts over the continuous drone of the TIE fighters overhead, “Now, go!” 

“I need a weapon!” Finn yells back. 

“Hey, Big Deal,” Ben reaches into his jacket and pulls out a short silver cylinder, “Catch!” 

Ben tosses the device towards Finn. When it lands in his hands, he’s surprised by its weight. 

“Wait, what am I supposed to do with this?!” he asks. 

“It’s a lightsaber! Swing it!” Ben calls as he ducks out of their hiding spot and starts shooting at the few troopers who survived the castle’s collapse, “Don’t cut your hand off! Or mine!”

Finn looks to Maz who just smiles and nods. Then he grips the saber with both hands and ignites the blade. 

The sudden surge of power in his hands makes him jump. The vivid blue blade is completely weightless, but as it moves through the air, he feels an inexplicable and almost imperceptible resistance, as if the raw energy contained within the weapon is bending the very world around it. He’s never used anything like it. He feels a twinge of fear when he realizes he doesn’t fully understand the power contained in this weapon, but that’s also what makes it so exhilarating. 

He charges out onto the battlefield. A stormtrooper sees him and fires a few shots that Finn ducks to avoid. He closes the distance in seconds and swings the blade down. He’s thrown forward by the force of his own movement as the saber cuts through the trooper’s armor with little resistance. He stumbles, but manages to catch himself. The trooper on the other hand, goes down. Finn takes a breath. 

“Ok. I got this,” he mutters to himself. 

Then he moves on to his next target. 

There’s a learning curve as he runs through the fire fight. It’s easy to put too much force behind his swings, even easier to lose track of where the weightless blade is pointing, but he gradually gets used to the way the saber is balanced and how easily the blade can cut through armor. He puts less force behind his strikes and lets the blade do the work, and he’s able to move through the rubble more quickly than anticipated. Though the treeline is far away, he feels confident he can reach it. 

He rushes another trooper and impales him on the lightsaber. As his latest opponent falls, he pauses to catch his breath. Then he hears the crunch of dirt and gravel behind him. 

“Traitor!”

Finn spins around as another trooper approaches. He braces for blaster fire, but instead of shooting, the trooper tosses his shield and gun aside. Finn raises the lightsaber into a defensive position as he realizes what his opponent’s next play is. Then trooper deploys his riot baton. It crackles and hums as electricity arcs across its surface, and the trooper spins it around into attack position. For a moment they size each other up. Then the trooper charges. 

Finn raises the saber to block his opponent’s incoming swings, and he’s forced to scramble backwards to avoid being struck as the trooper presses relentlessly forward. He tries to find an opening - not even to make an attack of his own, but just to stop the trooper’s momentum - but he finds none. His feet find a low incline behind him, and he uses the sudden change in landscape to run backwards and put more distance between him and his attacker. When the trooper comes at him next, he’s prepared. 

Another blow comes. Then another. The trooper whirls the butt of the baton around, striking Finn across the face, but he doesn’t let it distract him for long. The trooper drops his guard as Finn briefly loses his stance, and Finn swings the lightsaber back around. The trooper manages to block it, but Finn feels a surge of new confidence regardless. He brings the saber down again, and their weapons lock for an instant. Finn slows only a moment to catch his breath, but it’s just an instant too long. The trooper breaks the bladelock and spins the baton around again, striking Finn in the jaw. As Finn staggers back, the trooper whirls the baton around again and this time jabs the electrified end into his chest.

Finn loses his breath as the impact sends him flying backwards. The lightsaber deactivates, and he strikes the ground. His muscles ache and tense up, frozen by the lingering electricity still sparking through his body, and he groans as he struggles to push himself up onto his elbows. The trooper advances. Head still spinning, Finn can only watch as the trooper raises the baton to strike. 

Two blaster bolts streak through the air and hit the trooper in the chest. He cries out as the impact sends him stumbling backwards and onto the ground. Finn looks over his shoulder as Ben runs up to him. Ben grabs Finn’s arm and hauls him to his feet. 

“Your technique needs some work,” he says. 

“I am wielding a  _ literal _ beam of light, could you give me some credit?” 

“Judging you is more fun.” 

“Don’t move!” shouts a trooper. 

Ben and Finn pause their bickering as almost a dozen stormtroopers come walking out of the rubble, blasters at the ready. Two of them swoop in and confiscate both the lightsaber and Ben’s blaster while another activates his com. 

“TK-338, we have targets in custody.” 

Ben sighs. 

“Fuck.” 

“Anymore brilliant plans, Solo?” Finn mutters under his breath.

“Oh am I still the idea guy? Are we that desperate?” 

“I was kidding.” 

“Then it’s your turn, smart guy.” 

A trooper jabs his blaster in their direction. 

“Shut it!” 

The squadron advances across the field of rubble, marching their prisoners along with them. The pauses between bursts of blaster fire grow longer until the field is quiet save for the crunch of footsteps on gravel and the barked commands of stormtroopers. Finn knows they won’t have a lot of time to figure out an escape plan. As soon as the First Order gets what they came for, they’ll either take them prisoner or kill them right here. He strains to listen to the radio chatter, trying to figure out if they’ve found Rey, but he only catches bits and pieces that offer him no clues. Best to focus on getting away for now. They’ll be no help to Rey if they’re in a cell or underground. He takes a step closer to Ben and whispers.

“Ok, I think I have an idea-.” 

The ground shakes and a fireball bursts up from one of the troop transporters. Out of nowhere the thundering of engines starts up again, but these fighters lack the high pitched whine of the TIEs. Finn and Ben turn around as the stormtroopers break their formation and run for cover. 

“We have incoming at two-eight-point-six! Move! Dispatch! Move! Scramble all squads! Repeat, scramble all squads! Anti-air cover en route to our position!” 

Overhead, a dozen X-wings come screaming into the fight, firing on the TIE fighters and swooping down to batter the battlefield with laser fire. Troopers around them are taken out as the fighters' shells impact the earth and explode. Spread thin and incurring heavy losses, they forget completely about their two prisoners. Finn grabs the lightsaber out of the hand of a fallen stormtrooper nearby and turns to Ben.

“Run!”

“I’ll take it!”

* * *

Leaves rustle somewhere just out of sight. Rey whips her blaster around, searching for specks of white among the foliage. The light snap of a twig comes from another direction, and again she trains her blaster on the sound. But she sees nothing. Absolutely nothing. She fights to regain control of her breathing. Jumping at every noise won’t help her. She has to keep a clear head and hold her position.

Then she hears a new sound. For a moment she thinks her mind is still playing tricks on her, and she waits for it to fade, but it doesn't. After a few seconds of waiting, the sound is still there. It’s faint, and she can’t tell which direction it’s coming from, but she knows it’s real, somewhere beyond the trees. Following her. A low, constant hum that slowly changes pitch. For a brief moment of panic, she struggles to identify it. Then it hits her. She  _ has  _ heard that sound before. 

_ My vision.  _

She sucks in a startled breath, turns, and starts running again, sliding down an incline into a deep channel carved between rows and rows of huge stones. She listens again for the hum, but it’s gone. She swallows hard and points her blaster down the channel, listening. Waiting. 

The sound of a lightsaber igniting explodes in the silence. Rey gasps in surprise and stumbles backwards a few steps as a tall, dark figure in a black mask, scarlet red saber in hand, comes stalking around a bend in the trench. Their movements echo her vision perfectly. Predatory. Sinister. Driven by singular purpose. And focused solely on her. For a moment her hands are frozen. Then she shakes the shock free and fires. The first shot explodes against the rock. The second streaks right towards its target, but the figure raises their lightsaber to meet it, and the bolt explodes in a shower of harmless sparks. The figure keeps coming. 

Rey starts running backwards, one hand out behind her, feeling for walls. She continues firing, and as more and more bolts strike the stones, clouds of dust shroud her pursuer in an ominous gray fog. They reflect another bolt into the walls around them, and she realizes she’s in a bottleneck. Still firing, she races for the edge and clambers up one of the rocks. Behind her the figure keeps chasing her, and she fires more blaster bolts at the top of the channel, hoping they’ll try to find another way around. No such luck. The figure scales the wall of the trench with unnatural speed, unbothered by the hail of blaster fire exploding around them. The lightsaber becomes a whirling shield around its wielder, and smoke curls up from the ground where reflected blaster bolts strike it. Rey keeps staggering backwards, looking frantically for an escape route. Then the figure thrusts their hand out towards her as she prepares to fire again, and her breath catches in her throat. 

An invisible force slams into her chest and sends her hurtling backwards. Her back smashes against a tree, and she tumbles forward onto the soft leaf litter. The blaster falls out of her hand, and before she can reach for it, it flies just out of her reach. The dark figure walks towards her and heaves an annoyed sigh. Rey scrambles backwards until her back presses up against the tree, and she realizes she’s trapped. The figure levels their blade at her chest, and she freezes. 

“So, you’re the one who’s been causing all this trouble,” they say casually. 

The cocky, masculine voice is somewhat muffled by the mask, and it has an almost robotic tone to it that puts her on edge. She can’t take her eyes off of the lightsaber as he raises the blade closer and closer to her face until it’s level with her jaw. The hum of the saber is deafening in her ears, and she can feel the heat of the plasma on her skin. A chill runs up her spine, and sweat gathers on her brow.

“I’ve already wasted a lot of my time today. If I were you, I wouldn’t waste anymore of it,” he says, his casual tone becoming low and dangerous, “Tell me where the droid is.” 

She takes in a few shaky breaths, her head spinning. 

“I’m not telling you anything,” she hisses. 

He sighs again.  

“Honestly,” he mutters, “You rebel types are all the same.”

Still keeping the blade trained on her, he raises his hand again. She flinches, expecting another blast of force, but instead feels a strange pressure in her forehead, as if someone were pressing their finger against her forehead between her eyebrows. Then the pressure increases, and spreads behind her eyes. Her breath catches in her throat, and she squeezes her eyes shut as pressure turns to aching, and aching to one sharp point of tingling pain. Her thoughts become foggy and jumbled. Images stream through her mind, memories dug up without her prompting. She sees the  _ Falcon _ . She sees Finn. She sees BB-8 rolling through the corridors of the ship. Then again on the  _ Thranta _ as Ben tells him to show him the map. 

_ No. No, no, stop. _

“You’ve seen the map,” the figure breathes.

He focuses in on the memory, and she watches as the BB-8 projects the map into the air. She tries to fight against it, the memory shifting and blurring as she does, but she can’t make it stop, not completely. She hears Ben’s voice as he talks about the map being incomplete. Then the map disappears as he turns around and heads back to the cockpit. She expects the images to keep coming as this stranger searches her memories next for BB-8’s location, but he pauses. 

“Wait…” he murmurs. 

He presses on further, and BB-8 ceases to be the focus of his hunt. Tension builds in his arms and shoulders, and for a brief moment, she hears his confidence slip.  

“Of all the days...” he mutters, a note of exhausted frustration in his voice, “Of all the people you could have come here with, you came here with the Skywalker.”

“Sir! Resistance fighters! We need more troops.” 

Rey flinches as a stormtrooper calls out. Her captor looks away, and the pressure inside her head releases. She relaxes as much as she can with a lightsaber still at her throat, and tries to breath normally as the lingering ache subsides. 

“Trooper, have you captured any of the dissenters?” he asks.

“Two were taken into custody, but they escaped when the Resistance arrived.” 

“What did they look like?” 

“Two human males. One was wielding some sort of plasma sword.” 

The masked man looks back down at Rey, and his shoulders start to relax again. She wishes she could see his face. Then maybe she’d have a chance at figuring out what he’s up to. He looks back at the trooper. 

“Gather what’s left of your squad. I want those two in custody. Alive, please. Once we have them, fall back,” the stranger turns back to Rey, “As for you, you’re in luck. I may have a use for you yet.” 

Rey’s eyes go wide as he raises his hand, and in an instant, everything around her goes dark. 

* * *

Once the Resistance arrives with their fleet, the field dissolves into even more chaos. More of Maz’s castle is on the ground in pieces than still stands. Explosions shake the lakeside as TIE fighters are torn apart by Resistance X-wings and come crashing to earth. Smoke comes from both the air and the ground, and the firing of blasters is all anyone can hear as the firefight rages on. But it’s a losing battle. The stormtroopers can feel it as more and more of them start pulling back towards their carriers, trying to protect their only way out.

The troop carriers form a sort of makeshift blockade between the castle and the forest, along with a large black ship with two long, pointed wings. Some sort of command shuttle, clearly. If they weren’t so preoccupied with the stormtroopers, Ben would be worried about it. The boarding ramp is down, but he didn’t even see the ship land in all the chaos, much less who was on board, and they haven’t come across any scary looking commandos or anyone else who might warrant having their own ship. He can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. 

As their numbers start dwindling, the stormtroopers begin pulling out of the conflict. He hears one of the commanders call for everyone to retreat to the treeline. One by one, troopers disappear from the battlefield. 

Ben and Finn dive behind a chunk of debris as a squad of stormtroopers unload one last barrage of blaster fire before turning and running for the trees. Finn pokes his head out from behind cover, surveying the field for any more hostiles, but for once, none of the fire is directed at them. 

“We’re clear for now. We have to get past them somehow.” 

Ben joins him in looking over the debris, taking a moment to catch his breath. He can hear some of the troop carriers firing up as the last of their personnel board. 

“They’ll take care of that themselves,” he breathes, “It’s over.” 

His eyes follow the treeline as more of it becomes exposed. Two troop carriers’ ramps remain down, however. As does the ramp of the big, black shuttle. From the forest another squad of stormtroopers emerges. Their commander barks a few orders, and the troops begin to fan out through the battlefield. Finn’s eyes widen a touch, and he shrinks back further behind the debris.

“Not quite,” he says, tracking the squad’s movement carefully with his eyes. 

“What are they doing?” Ben asks. 

“I don’t know.” 

A pair of troopers not far from their position suddenly stop, eyes trained on them. 

“There they are,” one says, gesturing to his partner. The two troopers raise their blasters and start advancing towards them, “Commander, we have eyes on the target.” 

“Go go go,” Finn hisses. 

Ben draws his blaster and fires a few haphazard shots at the troopers as they get up from behind their cover, as more of an insult than anything. As he turns his head, his eyes land on the shuttle again. Two stormtroopers appear on either side of the boarding ramp, waiting patiently for something. Finn starts running, apparently not noticing the activity by the shuttle, but Ben hesitates. Then he sees a figure emerge from the woods, carrying a familiar scavenger. 

“Finn, wait!” he calls. 

Finn stops in his tracks and follows his eyes. As soon as he sees it, his eyes go wide. Ben doesn’t even have time for a quip before Finn begins sprinting towards the ship. 

“Halt!” one of the troopers barks. 

Ben responds with his blaster. The first trooper falls as the shot explodes against his chest, and the second starts shooting. Ben dodges to the side, racing after Finn. 

“They’re heading for the command shuttle!” the trooper shouts. 

The rest of the stormtroopers start to come back together and begin closing in on them. 

“This is not a good idea!” Ben calls. 

“I’m not leaving her behind!” Finn calls back. 

“No, I agree with you!” Ben replies, “Arrest is still very likely!”

“You don’t have to come with me!”

“Yes, I do!”

Finn ignites the lightsaber as the troopers come closer, all yelling at once for them to surrender their weapons. Ben starts firing. Ahead of them, the figure holding Rey slows his pace and looks back at the fire fight. He doesn’t seem the least bit concerned, and he continues his march towards the shuttle. Ben’s heart sinks as he disappears up the boarding ramp, but the ship doesn’t make any move to leave. 

Three troopers cut around in front of them, blocking their path just as the shuttle seems within reach. Ben and Finn come skidding to a stop, and in seconds they’re surrounded on all sides. Above them the Resistance ships start circling around again and are quickly met with resistance from the remaining TIE fighters, but a few of the X-wings are able to slip past. The masked figure reemerges from the shuttle, Rey no longer with him. He walks towards them as the fighters descend. Ben and Finn raise their arms above their heads. Then the Resistance fighters start firing on the remaining troop transports. 

Plumes of earth explode into the sky. The troopers stagger and flinch, and a few break off from the group, trying to avoid the flak, but a few are struck by the incoming fire and fall to the ground. Ben kicks the trooper closest to him away, and Finn swings the lightsaber in a wide arc at the stormtroopers closest to him, sending them stumbling backwards to avoid the blade. The masked figure points at Ben and begins shouting orders. 

“Get him and fall back! Kill the other one!” 

Another X-wing flies over and unleashes another barrage. The next transport in line to leave explodes in a ball of fire and smoke. Finn slashes at the troopers again, and they fire their blasters, trying to drive him back. The chaos and tension around him reaches a new height every second, but as Ben stares back at the masked man, he hits a moment of eerie calm. For a split second, he and the figure stare at each other, and though he’s sure all of his many questions are written all over his face, he receives no answers. Then the remaining stormtroopers rush him. 

Ben gets one shot off as the mob approaches, but it goes wide as he’s grappled by four troopers. A heavy weight settles in his gut as he tries to come up with some reason why they wouldn’t just kill him. Him, a smuggler with no useful intel. Do they know who his mother is? Are they trying to get leverage? And what about Rey, a scavenger? What about the map? He can’t quite put the pieces together, and that fills him with deep-seated dread that they know something he doesn’t. 

Two troopers grab a hold of his arms on either side, knocking the blaster out of his hands. As he tries to wrench himself free, the third strikes him in the back of his knee, sending him stumbling to the ground. He doesn’t get a chance to recover his footing as the fourth trooper punches him in the stomach. As he doubles over, the breath knocked out of him, he glances over at Finn who has managed to kill one trooper and is now engaged with another wielding a riot baton. He’s doing far better than he was against the first, but the trooper is still keeping him thoroughly occupied. 

When Ben looks up again, the masked figure is looming over him. 

“Get him on board,” he says. 

Then he waves his hand, and Ben blacks out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is PG-13 and I get ONE fuck! And there it was. Now you have to wait until part 2 for another one.


	5. Light Rises...

_The void around him is cold and formless. He feels no ground underneath him, nor open space above him. He drifts in place, embraced by blackness on all sides. Buried under a decade’s worth of sensory deprivation. Stagnant. Alone. There is no light, no joy, but no fear or pain either. Just silence. It used to scare him, the foreignness of it, but now he finds it comforting. Within this void, he’s safe from conflict when he wakes and nightmares when he dreams._

_But something is trying to disturb that peace today. His rest is fitful. In the darkness he sees brief flashes of color, like lightning struggling to break through cloud cover. It claws at his mind, but even in the muddled depths of sleep, he isn’t afraid. His barricades have been assailed before and will be again, be it by his own lack of concentration or by the universe itself, begging to be let back in. He can wait it out. With time, it will disappear._

_Another lightning strike. Searing. Forceful. He flinches and falters as fault lines crackle and disappear inside the void, bringing with them the smell of fuel, the pulsing of light, and the ache of fear and grief. The moment passes. He regains his breath. The hold of lethargy over him begins to slip. Then the lightning strikes again._

_It hits like a blow to the chest. The fault line widens, and more sensations spill into his head. Some are familiar. Some are not. Some are echoes of moments long passed. Some are bright and new and now. The deluge threatens to overwhelm him, but he regains his ground. He breathes. He waits. He withdraws back further and further into this prison of his own choosing until the cracks seal themselves once more. The storm rumbles just beyond, weakened, but not yet defeated. He sinks deeper into the blackness, waiting for the next assault._

_When the final strike comes, it tears through the outer layers of his mind, filling his head with surface sensations of cold and pressure, feelings of frustration, and the distant sounds of humming generators. He doesn’t let it frighten him, however, and when the lightning targets his innermost thoughts, he holds firm. It lashes out once more, and explodes in a shower of spitting sparks and white-hot embers. He cries out as the pain builds and jars him back to wakefulness._

Ben jerks forward, sweat gathering on his brow, gasping for breath. His ears ring, and his emotions struggle to come together into coherent thoughts. Nothing he sees makes any sense, and the only thing he can focus on is the glint of dim light, reflected red by the lens of the helmet staring down at him. Another wave of pain shoots through his skull, and he squeezes his eyes shut. He groans as the pressure ramps up, his whole body locking up as he struggles to escape it.

Then it cuts out, and suddenly he can breathe again. As he gulps down air, limbs trembling, he hears a growl of frustration. He tries to pry his eyes open, so he can finally make sense of where he is, but any energy he had left drains out of him all at once. His head drops back against whatever surface is underneath him, and he falls back into unconsciousness.

* * *

The first thing Ben is aware of as he slowly wakes is how stiff his back feels. As he opens his eyes and tries to sit up, he realizes why. His wrists and ankles are locked in a series of metal cuffs that secure him to a reclined platform. He can’t see far on either side of him due to the curved pieces of some kind of inactive device on either side of his head, but he doesn’t have to see much to know where he is. He tugs again on the cuffs, more forcefully this time, but he knows even before he tries that trying to pull himself free isn’t going to work. He sighs and drops his head back down onto the platform with a metallic thud. He winces as he does, now painfully aware of the pounding headache that’s taken root behind his eyes. It feels unnatural, but trying to recall exactly what happened feels like swimming through bacta.

“Hello? Who’s back there? I can’t see you,” a voice directly behind him calls out.

He raises his head again.

“Rey?” he asks.

“Ben? What are you doing here? Where are we?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“What happened? Where’s Finn?”

“I have no idea. He was alive last I saw him. Where’s the droid?”

“Safe, I hope. I was attacked by that...that _creature_ in the mask while I was trying to hold them off.”

Ben’s mouth goes dry as he remembers. The red light. The dark helmet. The voice.

“Who was that?” Rey continues.

“I...I don’t know.”

“You saw him though, right?”

“Yeah,” he murmurs, “I saw him.”

Rey pauses.

“Are you alright?” she asks.

“Fine. What about you? Did he hurt you?”

“No, not really.”

At least they have that.

“Ben…” she says, her tone growing softer, more fearful, “Do you know what they want with us? What they want with you?”

He swallows hard, trying to get past the lump in his throat. He already knew they were interested in him, but hearing Rey confirm it means there’s no chance he imagined it. Even worse is not knowing why.

“What did he say to you?” he asks.

“Not much, but...I don’t know, he got in my head and was looking through my memories, and as soon as he saw you, it was like he forgot all about the map. Are you sure you don’t know who he is?”

“I don’t. I swear.”

“He called you ‘the Skywalker.’ Do you think it has something to do with your family?”

Skywalker. The gears in his head start turning, and he sits forward again.

“Tell me what he said exactly.”

“He said ‘Of course you came here with the Skywalker.’ Then he told his troops to capture you and Finn.”

Skywalker. _The_ Skywalker. Not Solo. Not Organa. Not the general’s son or the smuggler’s son. Skywalker. Like his uncle. Like his grandfather. He releases a shaky breath as the weight in his chest that’s been there since the masked man appeared grows heavier. Static hums in his gut.

“Ben…?”

“I don’t know what it means,” he says, trying to keep his voice from shaking, “but something tells me this isn’t about Republic politics. If that were the case, he would have said Solo or Organa. Skywalker may as well be synonymous with Jedi.”

“You aren’t a Jedi though.”

“No, but the Force is strong in all members of my family. I’m no exception. That must be where their interest lies.”

“Wait, you know the Force?”

“Is that really so surprising?”

“I just thought, the way you were talking earlier…”

“I know. You weren’t entirely wrong, but…” he pauses and takes a deep breath, “It’s complicated.”

“Complicated how?”

“Some time ago, I was able to learn how to block the Force out. It took time to perfect it, but I did. Now I can’t feel it at all. I haven’t for years.”

“Blocked it out? But...Ben you told me if the Force was calling to me, I should listen to it,” she says, a touch of anger in her voice.

“I know it sounds hypocritical-.”

“Very.”

“- but I didn’t say that to trick you, Rey. The Force isn’t evil. I know many people who have found peace in the light, some who weren’t even Force sensitive. I meant what I said.”

“Then why do you avoid it?”

He hesitates. It’s not a topic he usually likes to talk about. His family danced around the issue, even when he got older. Sharing his morbid thoughts and dreams or his fears surrounding them just never felt...appropriate. He knew it scared his mom, and he knew his dad wouldn’t get it. His uncle might, but who’s to say he wouldn’t also react poorly, being a Jedi master and all. It was always better to just avoid it and keep up the facade that everything was ok. Part of him says that he shouldn’t talk about it with Rey either. They don’t really know each other, and he doesn’t want to jeopardize what little rapport they’ve built. Even so, there’s something in the way she asks him about it. She doesn’t sound judgmental or afraid...just curious. It’s not much, but it’s all the reassurance he needs that taking this risk might just pay off.

“You know the story of Darth Vader, don’t you?” he asks.

“Just pieces. He was some kind of evil servant of the emperor.”

“He was a Jedi before that. He was incredibly strong. Gifted, even. Because of this he grew arrogant. He fought for the Republic during the Clone Wars, but his methods were described as reckless. Unorthodox. He would do whatever it took to win a battle, even if it meant using the Dark Side. Eventually he realized he couldn’t have a foot in both worlds, and he gave himself over to the Dark Side completely for the promise of power,” Ben takes a deep breath, “He’s also my grandfather, Anakin Skywalker.”

Rey doesn’t say anything, but he can imagine her face easily enough. It’s a rather sobering piece of information.

“My mother never talks about him,” he continues, “Neither does my father. I didn’t know he was my grandfather until I was a teenager, and it wasn’t until I read more about him that I truly understood why he never came up during family dinners.”

She pauses and takes a breath as everything clicks.

“You’re afraid of becoming like him,” she says.

“I know it’s possible. I’ve felt it ever since I was younger. The same darkness. The same temptation to seek out power and give into anger. I tried to control it at first, but I couldn’t find the light without facing the darkness. I had to confront it, but the more I confronted it… the more impossible controlling it seemed, and the more tempting it was to give up and let it in. I was one step away from destroying my family, just like he did. I didn’t know what else to do but to cut myself off from the Force entirely.”

“Did it help?”

“It did.”

“And what about the other side? The light. Do you ever miss it?”

The question gives him pause. He wants to tell her no, he doesn’t, but he hesitates. Admittedly, the light side of the Force isn’t something he thinks about often. The darkness always seemed to overshadow it as the more pressing problem. It isn’t something he ever thought was within his reach, and yet… There were times he felt it. Moments in his childhood where, however briefly, the darkness seemed to lose traction.

His mother hugging him, never saying “I love you” but never needing to because he always just knew. Hearing his father in the living room muttering to himself under his breath about fuel lines, and later realizing he’d actually be outside in the hangar working on the _Falcon_ the whole time. Raising his arms to catch Poe as his friend slipped out of a tree and watching as, just for a moment, he stopped falling completely. Listening to his uncle teach him about the Force and the Jedi, before anyone decided that such conversations were too dangerous. Falling asleep in the cockpit his first night on the _Thranta_ and dreaming of hugging his dad on the boarding ramp, apologizing for running away while Han assured him he had nothing to apologize for, a vision that later came true.

He asks himself again: does he miss it?

“Yes. I suppose I do,” he murmurs.

A soft hiss fills the chamber as the cell door slides open.

* * *

Every hair on Rey’s body stands on end as the door opens, interrupting her and Ben’s conversation. She prays for a stormtrooper, a droid, or even an officer, but her prayers go unanswered. Instead the masked man strides in, hands held casually behind his back. The door closes behind him and he looks at Rey for a moment. His body language is thoughtful, but his expression is hidden from her. It’s hard to tell exactly what he’s thinking, and she doesn’t like it.

“Good to see you’re both awake,” he observes.

He turns away from Rey and strolls around to the other side of the room. Though his body is relaxed, there’s tension in his voice. She cranes her head, trying to follow his movements, but she just can’t turn her neck far enough to look past the apparatus on either side of her head.

“Sleep well?” he asks.

“I’ve had worse,” Ben says, unimpressed.

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Really.”

“I just thought you’d be more of a challenge, is all. Seems that legendary bloodline of yours hasn’t done you any favors.”

“You’re awfully smug about capturing a scavenger and a common smuggler. Is that usually difficult for you?”

For a moment the masked man doesn’t speak. Rey wants to laugh at the jab, but she’s too nervous about how their captor might react. She doesn’t like the way he’s been talking to Ben. She remembers how he reacted when he first realized Ben was on Takodana; he wasn’t happy, he was frustrated. So annoyed by that development. Now he seems too smug, like he’s putting up some kind of front to hide how angry he is that Ben is here.

“Let me tell you how this is going to work,” he says, the tension in his voice evolving into anger, “You both have something I need, and one way or another, one of you is going to give it to me. I’m going to ask one of you a question, and you’re going to answer it, or there will be consequences.”

She whips her head back around as he appears on her other side. He stops in front of her, and her heart hammers in her chest.

“We’ll start with you, Solo.”

Rey is caught off guard as he raises his hand, and instead of breaking into Ben’s mind, a familiar pressure begins building in hers. By the time she realizes what’s coming, it’s too late to fight it. She braces for her memories to start surfacing again, but he doesn’t press any further. He only applies enough pressure to make her grimace.

“Tell me about the map,” he says.

“The map I only saw once?” Ben asks.

The masked man slowly pivots his hand, and Rey gasps in surprise as, like before, the pressure collects into one sharp point inside her head. Like a needle being pushed inside her skull. Ben’s brazenness evaporates immediately.

“Rey?” he says, a touch of panic in his voice, “Hey! What are you doing to her?”

“Nothing, if you cooperate.”

“I saw it once!”

“But you know what it leads to, don’t you? You know what your uncle is protecting. I know you were only his student for two days, but being his family, I’m sure you heard something.”

“Wait, how do you-?”

“Now would be a good time to start wracking that brain of yours.”

The needle digs in deeper, and Rey grits her teeth. She bites back a cry as spots bloom across her vision, then dissipate as the masked man stops pushing. She squeezes her eyes shut and tries to push back, but he anticipates her resistance and increases and decreases the pressure as needed to hold the burning ember behind her eyes at a consistent intensity.

_Why is he bothering asking questions like this? He knows I’ve seen the map too, why doesn’t he just try and take it?_

“Stop. Just stop. Listen to me, the map was incomplete-,” Ben starts.

“You’re giving in that easily?” the masked man asks. He chuckles, “I knew you were weak, but this is pathetic.”

Rey’s eyes snap back open. It doesn’t last long, but as he finishes his sentence, she hears just the slightest waver of uncertainty. Instantly she knows she was right. This is a front. A big show of strength. He knows he won’t get a usable map this way, but he isn’t interested in that.

_He’s just toying with him._

“Do you want the map or not?” Ben growls.

“Oh, yes, of course I want the map.”

“Then let her go.”

“Ben, stop, he’s-,” Rey starts. Then her concentration slips. Her already fragile resistance breaks, and memories come flooding to the surface. They clash with each other for a moment in a chaotic swirl of color and sound. Then she feels them start to organize themselves, drifting in and out of their own volition. She forces herself to breathe. She has to focus. She can’t let him get away with this.

“I will, Solo, don’t you worry. I’m just taking my time. Trying to figure out where that ‘strength’ my master is so obsessed with is,” the man says, though his focus is now squarely on her.

“No,” Rey growls, “I know what you’re doing.”

“Do you, now,” he replies.

“You don’t need him to tell you anything. This is just some...sick game to you.”

“Funny how you think that will change anything.”

She pushes herself forward as far as she can, straining against his hold on her mind. Behind her eyes she still sees her memories flying by as he hunts for what he needs, but now they seem faded. Indistinct. His certainty slips, but he continues to concentrate. She can feel the push and pull in her head, like the tide coming in and out. Then her eyes lock onto him, and she grits her teeth, a furious snarl on her face.

“I won’t be your pawn,” she spits.

He falters as her memories dissolve into specks of sound and shreds of pictures. Though he tries to push back, regain the ground he’s lost, he realizes what was once a door with a stubborn lock is now a wall. His confidence fades, and she gives one last hard shove, determined to expel him from her mind completely. Finally he pulls back, and as he does, she lashes out and seizes the last remnant of his presence in her head. For a moment there’s only silence between them. Then the thoughts in her head explode into chaos.

Memories fly by of distant worlds she’s never seen and people she’s never met. She sees a barren, icy planet dotted with craters and half destroyed buildings. She sees people wrapped in rags huddling for warmth and picking through the ruins for supplies. Then the buildings crumble away to reveal a dark chamber in a cruiser somewhere. She can smell the tang of metal in the air, and she can feel sweat dripping down her back. She feels her hands pressed against the floor as she kneels down, exhausted, but when she looks down, she realizes they aren’t her hands. These hands are larger, and the skin is olive green. On the back of each one is a geometric tattoo. They’re not her hands; they’re his. A voice in the darkness tells him to start again. The room disappears. Memories keep coming. She sees rows of stormtroopers both inside cruisers and marching onto battlefields. She hears the hum of a lightsaber and the bending and splintering of metal. She sees the bright lights of fire and electricity, and the deep darkness of space. The memories are ever changing, but the same emotions color them all.

Fear. Hatred.

Jealousy. Desperation.

Rage.

“You,” she says, coming back to her own awareness, “You’re afraid.”

His eyes are wide behind the mask, locked with hers, but he doesn’t pull away, as if some kind of morbid curiosity is forcing him to play along.

“That you will always be nothing in the eyes of your master.”

He jerks his hand away, and she’s snapped back into her own head. Before she can even regain her bearings and process what she just did, he’s turned his back to her. He curls his hand into a fist, practically shaking with fury. Then the door slides open, and he stalks out of the cell. Rey stares at the space where he stood. As the shock starts to wear off, she can finally process what she just did. A disbelieving smile tugs at her lips.

“What did you just do?” Ben asks.

“I...I blocked him.”

He pauses.

“You blocked him?”

“I blocked him. I blocked him out,” she says, her smile turning to a grin, “I don’t know how I did it, I just...pushed back. And it worked. He didn’t get anything.”

He scoffs in amazement, and she can tell he’s smiling too.

“And you read his mind,” he continues, still amazed. Incredulous.  

“Only for a moment, but-.”

“Rey, do you realize what you just did? He’s been trained to use the Force. You haven’t.”

Said out loud, it finally sinks in. She shouldn’t have been able to do that. But she did.

“He must be livid,” she says, the ghost of a laugh on her lips.

“Extremely,” he agrees.

They both chuckle, and for a moment their claustrophobic little cell doesn’t seem quite as dark. The celebration doesn’t last long, however, as they remember again where they are and what waits for them beyond the cell door.

“But I suppose it means he’ll try harder now,” Rey murmurs. She blows out an irritated breath, “There’s got to be some way out of here. Maybe we could lure a guard in here or-.”

“And do what, exactly?” Ben asks, “Just be patient. An opportunity will present itself.”

“That’s not a very good plan.”

“It’s better than my last plan.”

“Which was…?”

“Rushing in without a plan.”

“That isn’t very reassuring.”

“Rey.”

She stops, startled by the sudden tenderness in his voice.

“It’ll be ok,” he says.

She takes a moment to calm her mind, still spinning with both fear and euphoria and half-baked plans to escape. She reminds herself that without any knowledge of where they are or where they need to go, and without any tools at their disposal or resources to exploit, any plans she comes up with will be ultimately useless. Really, she has no choice but to be patient and believe him. The thought makes her squirm with pent up energy, but she’s waited far longer for events with less certain timelines. She can wait just a little more.


	6. ...and Darkness to Meet It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you were the least bit curious about the masked fucker, it's your lucky day. Behold! My son! He is terrible and I hate him: https://grenadefestival.tumblr.com/post/185218453091/local-space-millennial-too-tired-to-live-too
> 
> Also, sorry this chapter got posted late. Wednesday came and went and I completely spaced it :P

“Edsoc. Were you able to obtain the map?” Hux asks.

Nil is glad that he’s wearing a mask so that the rat-faced general can’t see how much he would love to punch him. Not that it matters. He definitely already knows.

“Give me time to work, Hux,” he growls, jabbing his finger at the general’s chest.

“I already have. The Supreme Leader will want to know of our progress,” Hux sneers, “Or lack thereof, as it were.”

“I’ll tell him myself,” Nil mutters, “In the meantime I want extra security in the detention level.”

“Of course, _sir.”_

Hux turns and walks off down the corridor. Nil goes in the opposite direction. The assembly room is the other way, but he would rather take the long way around than spend another second looking at Hux’s smug face. Plus, he needs time to think. If he doesn’t come up with a new plan _now_ he may as well be done for. If only running Hux through with a lightsaber were an option. Figuring out what to tell the Supreme Leader would be so much easier if he didn’t have to worry about Hux telling him the truth.

_I can’t lie to him outright. The best I can do is leave certain things out and hope that by the time Hux says something, it’ll be too late for either of them to do anything about it._

Above all, he needs to hide the existence of the scavenger. At least until he can safely dispose of her. The presence of the Skywalker alone is a tenuous, risky situation. The last thing he needs is Snoke knowing that he failed not once, but _twice_ to extract the map from one of their prisoners. The thought makes him tense up with anger all over again, and he forces himself to breathe.

_This would be so much easier if I could just kill them both right now._

He goes over what he’s going to say in his head as he approaches the door to the massive, dark chamber where the Supreme Leader conducts his meetings. Once he’s sure he has his story straight, he takes a breath and enters. Snoke is already there, and his massive holographic form sneers down at him with thinly veiled impatience.

“I have been awaiting word of your progress, Nil.”

Nil removes his helmet, heart already thumping with anxiety, and kneels before the projection.

“I apologize for the wait, Supreme Leader. There were a few...unexpected developments.”

Snoke raises an eyebrow, his cue to continue.

“We were searching for the droid on Takodana when I found one of your previous, ah, people of interest,” Nil says, “Ben Solo.”

Now he has the Supreme Leader’s attention.

“That is an unexpected development,” he muses, “After all these years, young Solo has finally resurfaced.”

Nil tries not to visibly prickle at the smug excitement in Snoke’s voice. He stands up.

“Even better news, I know he’s seen the map,” he says, still fighting to keep his voice even. No signs of hesitation. No weakness, “I’m sure I can get him to give it up with the proper tools.”

Snoke frowns slightly.

“Any particular reason you haven’t already done so?” he asks.

Nil flinches internally, but he keeps his expression neutral. Even so, he can’t stop his voice from faltering as he tries to dismiss Snoke’s concerns.

“Well, he...he seems to have put up some sort of barrier around his mind. That does make it a little more difficult, but I promise you, Supreme Leader, I _can_ get the map if-.”

“We do not have time to waste on experiments,” Snoke interrupts, “We shall deal with Solo later.”

He holds back a sigh of frustration, but irritation and impatience is about what he expected from his master. It’s a common thread in their relationship. Hardly an insurmountable hurdle. Behind him, Nil hears the door open.

“What of the droid?” Snoke continues.

“Edsoc believed the droid was no longer valuable to us,” a disgustingly familiar voice says, “That our captives were all we needed.”

Nil whips his head towards Hux as the general walks up the center path, obviously determined to make sure nothing goes right today. He may as well kill Hux now. One last act of defiance before Snoke throws him out an airlock. Snoke’s eyes roll down to look at Nil as Hux continues to make things worse.

“As a result, the droid has most likely been returned to the hands of our enemy. They may have the map already.”

“Captives?” Snoke asks. He doesn’t take his eyes off of Nil.

Nil refuses to lose his cool, but he can already feel fractures forming in his facade.

“Solo came here with a girl,” he says, “A scavenger from Jakku. She also saw the map, and I thought having a backup would be prudent.”

“And did you attempt to get it from her?” Snoke asks stiffly.

“She...she resisted the interrogation, sir.”

Snoke’s fury is palpable.

“A _scavenger_ resisted you?!” he growls.

“I couldn’t have known about her capabilities!” Nil protests, those fractures splitting open and letting his anger seep through, “Even if I had known how strong with the Force she was, no one would have expected her to know how to use it!”

Snoke doesn’t say anything, but his disappointed glare never wavers. Nil curls his hand into a fist and casts his eyes to the floor as Snoke turns to Hux.

“The Resistance must be destroyed before they get to Skywalker,” he says.

“We have their location,” Hux replies, “We tracked their reconnaissance ship to the Ileenium system.”

“Good. Then we will crush them once and for all. Prepare the weapon.”

Hux nods and walks back down the aisle.

“It’s just as well,” Nil mutters, shifting his helmet out from under his arm, “The fewer games we play with these roaches, the better. Once they’re gone, we can focus all our efforts on finding Skywalker.”

He pauses, but Snoke doesn’t say anything else. Nil’s anger at Hux loses traction and doubles back, directed instead at himself.

“I won’t give up,” he insists. He can salvage this. He has to, “If you would help me, I _know_ I could get the map-.”

Snoke raises his hand, and Nil stops.

“It isn’t you I’m angry with,” he sighs, though the frustration in his voice is still prominent, “I gave you this responsibility. Perhaps I expected too much of someone of your station.”

Nil thought he would be numb to it by now, but Snoke’s words sting just as much now as they ever did. It’s just another painful reminder that to the Supreme Leader, he’s never been anything more than a gutter rat from a dying planet. Someone just skilled enough to accomplish what he needed, but otherwise, unexceptional. Worse still, the chances of changing his mind are growing slimmer by the minute now that the Skywalker is here. For all he knows, Snoke may have already written him off.

_But it isn’t over until I know that for sure._

“Bring Solo and the girl to me,” Snoke continues, “I would like to see their capabilities for myself.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

_I’m not done yet._

* * *

They aren’t given much time to rest before the cell door opens again. This time the masked figure isn’t alone. Four stormtroopers enter the room and pull out two sets of sturdy looking binders, but they only have a small fraction of Ben’s attention. As the troopers release the restraints and snap the binders onto his wrists, he and the masked man watch each other in tense silence. He wrestles to control his breathing and keep a neutral face, even as a tight knot forms in his stomach.

“Where are you taking us?” Rey asks, not bothering to hide the fury in her dark eyes.

The masked man turns away and opens the cell door. The troopers give Ben and Rey each a firm push forward. As they’re marched out into the hallway, Rey’s eyes are locked on the masked man’s back, clearly annoyed that he ignored her question. She curls her hands into fists and blows a breath out through her nose.

“Patience,” Ben murmurs.

“Yeah, you said that already,” Rey hisses back.

“And it seems you didn’t hear me the first time.”

“I literally haven’t done anything!”

“Hey, quiet you two!” a trooper barks.

Rey huffs, and Ben tries again to squash his anxiety with little success. He clenches his jaw and stares straight ahead as they turn down another corridor. Rey glances at him out of the corner of her eye, and as she takes in his expression, her anger softens. Inside his head, he hisses in frustration. Is he really that bad at hiding how afraid he is? He tells himself she’s just sensing it, now that she’s got more of a grasp on her powers. It doesn’t make him feel better.

Eventually they come to a wide hallway that ends in a set of large double doors. Beyond them is an enormous, dark chamber. The black walls and floors swallow up any light they touch, turning the chamber into an endless void. Within this void there is only one feature, and it makes him feel smaller than any great expanse of darkness ever could.

The man in the center of the room looms over them and stares at them with smug apathy. His mutilated features and piercing eyes are shocking and foreign, and yet, something about it is hauntingly familiar. His face doesn’t trigger any specific memories, but the horror and despair Ben feels as he takes it in is an old, worn out ache that he’d never hoped to feel again. That stale ache rises in his chest, morphing rapidly into fresh, raw fear. It catches in his throat - stealing his breath for a moment as they’re marched ever closer to the platform - and continues to mutate from fear to panic. His footsteps falter for a beat as the instinct to turn and run takes over, but it doesn’t last long as the troopers’ grip on him tightens. By the time they reach the platform at the end, his neutral facade has almost completely disintegrated.

The masked man removes his helmet and kneels in front of Snoke. The one part of Ben that hasn’t been completely overcome by panic is surprised by what he sees. For one thing, he was expecting someone human. Instead of a shade of brown of peach, the man’s skin is a light olive green. His close-cropped hair is black, but in the dim light of the chamber it takes on a dark blue sheen. On his forehead, directly above his eyebrows are two identical, triangular tattoos that are made up of small, individual diamonds and rectangles of varying sizes, and Ben realizes he must be from Mirial. He would seem fairly normal and disarming if it weren’t for his eyes, which are a starkly pale shade of blue which makes his eyes seem unnaturally wide and glaring. His face is hollow. Hungry.

The troopers let go of Ben and Rey, and Snoke dismisses then with a gesture. Then he looks down at his apprentice.

“Am I also dismissed, sir,” the Mirialan asks.

“No, Nil. Stand by and await further orders.”

Nil doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t even nod. He merely stands, turns around, and takes up his post a few yards behind them. As he does, Ben gets a better look at his face, and he feels a hint of recognition. It’s quickly buried at the back of his mind, however, as Snoke addresses them next.

“At long last, my search has come to fruition,” Snoke’s eyes lock onto Ben like a hunter’s on its cornered prey, “I must commend you, young Solo, on your considerable accomplishment. It takes great skill to hide one’s self from me.”

Every new word adds to the growing storm in Ben’s head. Every question he has is uprooted by a new one before he can even begin to imagine the answer. He wants to demand an explanation, but it’s hard enough staying anchored in his own body when all his mind wants to do is escape and numb itself to the maelstrom of emotions inside him. For a moment the chamber is silent as Snoke studies him. Even Rey isn’t sure what to make of everything, and she too remains quiet, for now.

“But we must put this foolish game behind us,” Snoke continues, “Too much time has been lost for such talent to continue to be squandered.”

An unspoken threat lies beneath his words, which is enough for Ben to finally wrest a coherent thought out of his brain. Then he hesitates. There’s no sense in asking who he is or what he wants. His intentions seem fairly clear, even if they’re lacking in details. In the second it takes Ben to rethink his question, Rey jumps in to fill the silence.

“Who are you? What do you want with him?” she asks. Her anger doesn’t diminish even for a second, but he can see she’s trying to rein it in as much as she can to avoid riling up Snoke and making an already bad situation any worse. Snoke looks at her.

“Of course, how could I forget our unexpected guest,” he says, more amused by her fury than anything, “Nil tells me you also possess most impressive talent for a scavenger. I trust his judgement, as he understands your situation quite well.”

Rey turns her head to look at Nil, still lurking just behind them with his hands behind his back. For a moment their eyes meet, then Rey snaps her head forward again, new anxiety on her face.

“And yet, I sense there is more that he has failed to uncover,” Snoke continues, “I shall watch your progress with great interest.”

His statement makes Ben feel nauseous. Snoke’s eyes turn to him again, and he takes a shaky breath.

“How long?” Ben asks. He wants to say more, elaborate on his question, but the words won’t come. Snoke seems to understand his meaning regardless.

“Longer than you can imagine,” he says, “My hand has shaped your destiny since before you were born. I have foreseen your potential, and I have taken great pains in order to see it realized.”

_Potential for what?_

That question catches in his throat as well, though he realizes it’s a question he may not want the answer to. He balls his hands into fists and digs his fingernails into his palms as his hands start to shake. A wicked smile spreads across Snoke’s face, as if once again he’s read Ben’s mind.

“I know you still have questions,” he says, “but there are things in this world that cannot be explained with words, and I find it very difficult to have a constructive discussion with someone who is still so resistant to understanding.”

Snoke lifts his hand. Ben blows out a sharp breath and takes a reflexive step backwards.

Then the quiet void around his mind shatters.

Every nerve fires at once. The piercing clarity of every image, sound, smell, and touch around him fills his head with shreds of data all so detailed, they threaten to completely overwhelm him. He smells the dry earth worked into the fibers of Rey’s clothes and feels the warmth from her skin. He hears the hum of the holoprojector hidden somewhere in the room and tastes the tang of metal and fuel in the air. Physical sensations are accompanied by more abstract ones, all colliding and contradicting each other. He feels panic and confusion from Rey, and jumbled up envy and sadistic satisfaction from Nil. A throbbing headache begins to spread through his temples.

And it doesn’t stop there.

His mind begins to fracture into dozens and dozens of smaller pieces, which spread like wildfire out of the room and into the rest of the compound. He feels the presence of thousands of stormtroopers, officers, engineers, and pilots. He’s thrown down twisting corridors and into hidden maintenance shafts. He sees control panels and displays, and he hears pieces of conversation, all too mixed together to understand properly. Then he’s pulled downwards. Through the floors of the base. Through the subterranean tunnels. Down further and further through a gargantuan hole in the planet’s surface, big enough to swallow entire cruisers. As blackness engulfs him, he feels a new presence. Hundreds of points of light, all resonating in perfect harmony with the Force, humming their own individual song from deep within the planet’s crust. He follows them down as the heat of the planet’s core builds around him. Then the planet disappears entirely as he’s thrown even further afield.

The visions start to make less and less sense as the things he sees and feels become more sporadic. A cruiser. A comet. A flock of migrating mantas. Laugher in the hold of a pirate’s vessel. The roar of the surface of a star. The hunger of a mynock slinking through an asteroid. The boredom of a freighter pilot. He grasps desperately at the cosmos, searching for anything even slightly familiar to hold onto and slow his fall. The Force answers with another sudden shift that steals what breath he had left.

He’s walking in a spaceport. The smell of fuel drifts through grungy hangars and stalls selling everything the intergalactic traveler might need. He catches a glimpse of the city outside, familiar though he hasn’t visited in some time. Then he’s listening to chittering birds in the canopy of a familiar jungle, staring from a clifftop at the crumbling ruins beyond. The ruins dissolve and morph until he’s facing a foreign set of hilltops and hangars. He blinks inside, whipping past stone corridors and faces he doesn’t recognize until he finds a familiar presence and clings to it with all the strength he can muster. Then he’s in an assembly room, staring at a flickering green projection as fear and despair flood the room like a toxic gas.

_“I wish that were the case, Major.”_

A familiar voice. A familiar pair of hands flying across the controls and summoning another hologram.

_Poe? He’s alive?_

A warm rush of relief spreads through his chest. Of course he is, the slippery bastard. Then he looks across the room, and his eyes lock with those of his mother.

The wrinkles in her brow soften as her concentration on Poe’s briefing breaks. She has that distant look of unease on her face that she gets when listening to the whispers of the Force. He’s never been the focus of it like this, though, and he wants nothing more than to reach out and touch her and call for help like a child, but he can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t do anything but stare back at her. Her lips part, his name on her tongue, but her words seem arrested as well. Her eyes flick off to the side. He follows her gaze, and he sees his father and Chewie, both looking up at the hologram of a massive, terrible planet.

_“So it’s big,”_ Han says.

Han’s eyes land on his wife, and his demeanor changes immediately as he notices her shocked expression. He frowns at her, a silent expression of concern, but she has no words for him. No way to explain right here, right now, what’s going through her mind. He turns his head to where Leia was looking, and for half a second Ben thinks his father sees him. Then the whole room disappears.

The stars and planets warp around him, spinning out in his head as his consciousness reaches the end of what he can perceive in the material world. For half a second he’s able to take a breath, pleading for it to be over. He is granted no such mercy as he’s thrown from the flow of the tangible planes and into the turmoil of the Cosmic Force itself, where his visions once again seem to lose all sense of direction.

The hiss of hydraulics as a boarding ramp goes down. The clattering of footsteps on a metal floor. The bite of a cold wind whipping through bare evergreen trees. A familiar green lightsaber in the hands of a much younger man. The passing swirl of hyperspace that grows brighter and brighter to consume the bridge of a ship, completely empty save for one woman at the helm. His father’s voice giving instructions on how to initiate a landing sequence. TIE fighters exploding. Then whole planets exploding. Torrential rain on a cliff overlooking an ocean.

And underneath it all, a pulsating, living darkness. An all consuming frenzy of hatred and suffering. The same presence he felt in his dreams night after night until he decided enough was enough. He had no way to describe it then. Now it has a voice. And it has a name. It reaches further inside his head, tearing through his visions and replacing them with its own, all corrupted and whispering the same thing: _this_ is what you were meant for.

A burning building. Smoke curling through the air. An unfamiliar blue saber humming in his hands. Poe’s bloodied face. Finn charging him, saber in hand. Blue light that fades to red. A narrow walkway. An echoing chamber. His father’s face. Then a fiery red blade piercing through his chest. He hears Rey screaming. He sees the forest again, but he can’t see where her voice is coming from. It’s joined by others, all sourceless, all pained.

_“You’re a monster!”_

_“There was just too much Vader in him.”_

_“He would bring destruction, and pain, and death, and the end of everything I love.”_

_“I know my son is gone.”_

Snow whips through the air and paints the ground white as sunlight burns through the landscape, until all the trees are gone, and he’s standing on a featureless white plain in front of a great black door that stretches hundreds of feet up the side of a cliff. The door rushes towards him and doesn’t stop until he’s consumed by a black void, and in that void he hears a lightsaber ignite. He spins around as Rey launches herself forward, the blue blade in her hands flashing and poised to come crashing down right on top of him. He swings his hands up, and suddenly he’s holding that sparking red saber again, and their blades clash. The force of the impact sends shockwaves thundering through the darkness. The ground crumbles away underneath him, and he falls to his knees on a black floor with a mirror finish, staring at the upside-down reflection of a man in a black robe who cackles in delight. He hears a heavy breath echo through the chamber, and he looks down at the floor at himself, a bleeding gash across his face and a wild fury in his eyes.

Snoke’s visions.

His nightmares.

A defeated whisper in the back of his mind slips through.

_You know what you are. They are right to forsake you._

_This is inevitable._

_Give up._

“Ben!”

_Rey._

The sound of her voice bleeds through the chaos. It’s far away, as if she’s calling to him underwater, but it’s there. She’s there. A tiny shred of light cutting through the clouds. He looks up. The man in the black robe is gone, and instead he sees an empty throne backed by a massive window overlooking empty space. Shreds of burning red material fall from the ceiling, and embers scatter and drift across the floor.

“Ben, please, can you hear me?”

He can. Thank the universe, he _can._ His breath catches in his throat, not from fear but relief. His eyes start to water as the vision around him starts to blur and fade until he’s surrounded by nothing but patches of color and far off lights. He can feel her presence now, like a radiant, burning flare in the darkness. Her raw emotions soak into his skin and create a storm in his chest, but he welcomes them. Even her fear is a comfort because it brings with it stubborn determination that he can’t find within himself. He reaches for her within his mind and fights for that last push that will finally wrench him free from this nightmare. Then warmth and pressure spread across his hands as someone grabs them.

And she’s there.

Rey kneels in front of him with his hands clasped in hers, staring at him with wide eyes. The room around them comes back into focus, and he realizes he’s on his knees, his face wet and body shaking. Snoke still looms over them, and Nil and the stormtroopers gather behind them, but none of that seems to matter anymore. Rey is right here. She’s here, and somehow she managed to carve a path through the chaos to reach him. This brazen nobody from a desert forgotten by the rest of the galaxy looked evil in its eyes and refused to let it shake her. He can still feel the building power of whatever monster lies beneath their feet, but it seems to him her strength could fracture the very core of this miserable planet. Here, on her knees with shackles on her wrists and gentle concern in her eyes, she’s a giant.

The moment lasts only a few seconds before the world around them starts turning again.

“Sir, the weapon is charging,” a trooper says.

“Very good. Then we shall continue our conversation later,” Snoke’s eyes linger on him and Rey for half a second more. Then he looks to his troops, “Take them away.”

Two troopers grab Ben’s arms and haul him to his feet as two more come around and do the same to Rey. He gives her hand a soft squeeze before his fingers slip free of hers, and they’re pulled apart. It feels like an insignificant gesture to him, but she looks visibly relieved to have been acknowledged after a very long, frightening ordeal. Then they’re turned and marched back out of the chamber towards the detention level. His legs still feel unsteady, and a deep, shooting pain has taken up residence in his temples. For once, he’s glad to be going back to a prison cell.

The troopers give them an unceremonious shove back into the cell. They don’t bother locking them back into the full body restraints, but they do leave two guards inside to watch them. It makes no difference to Ben. Stormtroopers seem like mere pests compared to the evils they just faced. Once it seems like they’re done pushing them around, he leans against the far wall and sinks to the floor, exhausted. Rey sits down next to him.

“Are you alright?” she murmurs.

“No,” he replies honestly. He takes a deep breath and wipes away what remains of his tears with his fingertips.

“What happened?”

“I’m not sure I can describe it. It was...chaos.”

“I saw what he did though. He got into your head and broke the barrier. I felt it.”

He gives her a curious look, his own pain forgotten for the moment.

“You felt it?”

“Yes,” she says, “It was...horrible. It was like my vision in Maz’s castle, but it was like I was just standing in one place, just watching it happen. All at once I felt the planet spinning, and I heard voices coming from all around me, but I couldn’t understand any of them. But I shook it off, and suddenly I could feel you and how afraid you were, so I turned to look at you, and…”

She hesitates, and he knows immediately what she must have seen. Some of her hesitation fades and is replaced by sadness when she sees the resignation on his face.

“Tell me,” he encourages her. No sense in avoiding it now.

“I looked at you, and...it wasn’t you anymore. You were standing there, dressed in black, with this strange, red lightsaber, and there was blood on the floor like you were hurt. And you looked at me with such hatred, and I didn’t understand why,” she says, “For a moment I thought I was seeing the future. Then I remembered this vision wasn’t my own, that it was Snoke causing all of this. So I shut my eyes and waited, and when I opened them again, it was gone. And you were back.”

“You pulled me out.”

“What?”

“I saw the same things you did, but I couldn’t escape it. You did. You broke through.”

“No, I didn’t do anything, really. I just wanted to help.”

“And you did,” he says, “Thank you.”

She looks down, a little embarrassed, but just a tiny bit pleased with herself. He leans back against the wall and closes his eyes for a moment. The cell is quiet save for the buzz of the lights and the muffled crackle of the stormtrooper’s coms.

“Are you going to cut yourself off again?” Rey asks.

He’s surprised by her tone. Her questions are always so frank. She doesn’t pose a question when she already knows the answer, nor does she play games by dancing around a topic. This question is more hesitant and searching, and based on the sadness in her voice, she definitely knows his answer already. He almost wants to surprise her, tell her no, but he dismisses that fantasy immediately.

“Not yet,” he says, trying to keep his tone neutral, “It’s a slow process. There isn’t enough time. But yes, eventually.”

“Would you ever change your mind?”

He opens his eyes again and frowns. Again he’s tempted to indulge her, but he reminds himself of what he saw, of the things he did, and again he suffocates the impulse.

“It’s for the best I don’t. You didn’t see _everything_ I did, Rey. I won’t let those visions come true. I won’t let him get into my head again,” he vows, “Whatever it takes.”

* * *

Once the troopers have left the assembly room, Nil turns back to Snoke. The Supreme Leader’s expression is thoughtful, but otherwise inscrutable.

“Did you find anything useful?” Nil ventures.

“Patience, my apprentice,” Snoke says calmly, “These things cannot be rushed, nor can a truly strong connection be forged over such a great distance. When you are finished here, and the Resistance and their base are nothing but ash, I want you to bring them to me.”

“The girl too?”

“Yes. You were right. She is indeed very strong with the Force.”

“She and Solo have great compassion for each other. If I were them, I’d be more loyal to the person standing with me than to the person standing over me. Won’t that be a problem?”

“Perhaps. But compassion is a weakness easily exploited. They will not defy me if the safety of the other is at risk.”

Nil curls his hand into a tight fist behind his back, but he keeps his face neutral.

“Permission to speak frankly, sir.”

Snoke raises a curious brow and gestures for him to continue.

“Sir, I know this is a plan you’ve been working on for a couple decades now, but I don’t see the strength in Solo that you do,” Nil continues, “His connection to the Force is strong, but that means nothing if he is weak in every other respect. Not to mention, he managed to elude you for several years. A lot of ground has been lost there.”

“What are you getting at, Nil?”

“What I’m getting at is that Solo isn’t worth the effort anymore. Maybe the girl could be turned, but he doesn’t have the backbone needed to complete your training. He can’t give you what you want.”

“And what is it you think I want?”

Nil hesitates, and he feels a stab of fear in his gut. He pushes it back down.

“You need someone who will do what needs to be done, no matter the cost. Someone who can command the respect of his troops and the fear of the galaxy.”

He expects Snoke to be angry at being defied and questioned, but that anger never comes. Instead, Snoke looks down at him with amusement. Nil can’t decide if that’s better or worse.

“Always so spiteful,” Snoke muses, “So furious at the world. Hungry for any scrap of advantage you can get. You’re afraid that if Solo’s power surpasses your own, I will discard you.”

Nil doesn’t move. Doesn’t speak. He’s afraid to breathe lest it tip the scales out of his favor.

“I did not have to take you on as my apprentice, Nil,” Snoke continues, “My plans would have proceeded with or without your skills. I brought you here because what you lack in raw talent, you make up for in resolve.”

Nil isn’t sure he believes that, but he wants to so badly that he almost doesn’t care.

“Your conviction is invaluable to me, because you are correct; it is something young Solo does not yet possess. Only those who have had to claw their way to power have such tenacity.”

Those who have clawed their way up. Those who came from nothing. People like him.

And people like the scavenger. He softens his expression to give the impression that he’s conceded the point, but inside he feels something in him snap. He swallows it down, desperate to hide his fury from his master and instead project complacency. He isn’t sure if it’s working, but Snoke’s expression doesn’t change, and he says nothing else.

“Thank you, sir,” Nil says, “I...appreciate the compliment.”

Snoke seems to relax again. Nil wants nothing more than to scream.

“See to the preparations. Send word when the Resistance has been dealt with,” Snoke says, dismissing him.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

Nil turns and leaves the chamber, prickling as he feels Snoke’s eyes following him. He holds back his anger until he walks beyond the assembly room and down a flight of stairs to the maintenance level. The moment he’s alone, the dam inside him breaks.

He lets out a yell of frustration and slams his fist into the wall. Pain shoots up his arm and shoulder, but he barely feels it. He grits his teeth and takes a moment to breathe before lowering his arm. Snoke has always been dismissive of him. He’s always been painfully aware that he was never the Supreme Leader’s first choice for an apprentice. But even then, he always had hope that he could earn his respect regardless. As long as he kept Snoke’s focus on him, he had a chance. Now he has nothing. Snoke will take new, better apprentices, and then he’ll kill him. It’s as plain as day, and still Snoke has the audacity to _lie_ to his face. All that garbage about clawing his way up and having conviction.

_He trained me because he needed me. And now he doesn’t. It’s that simple. I failed._

He takes another deep breath. His anger continues to stew inside his chest, and he takes a moment to focus back in on it and let it bleed into the rest of his body. Through his anger, he found purpose. Through his anger, he survived. It gave him the strength to stand up for himself and break free of Mirial’s desolate streets and pale skies, and it will give him that strength again.

He steps away from the wall and looks down at his lightsaber, hanging from his belt. He picks it up and clutches it in his hand, feeling the low pulse of the crystal within bleeding out into the Force. He will not be discarded, not while he still has options.

_Not yet._  


	7. Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Rey doesn’t know a lot about Jedi. She only heard rumors and tall tales while on Jakku, and nearly all of them seemed too insane to believe. Even now after what she’s seen, she isn’t sure which stories were true. She desperately hopes this one was. She doesn’t have a Plan B if it wasn’t, and she can’t exactly bounce ideas off of Ben with stormtroopers watching.

_I can do this. I can do this._

She gestures to Ben to stay put and wait, which he replies to with a confused frown and a silent _“What are you doing?”_ Then she stands and approaches the stormtroopers, taking care not to get too close.

“Sit back down,” one of the troopers orders.

She takes a deep breath. She can sense the troopers’ presences and feel their boredom and annoyance at being given guard duty. She tries to reach further and establish a stronger connection. She searches for their names, their opinions about their jobs, their favorite places in the base to go. Anything that will tell her who they are and give her a stronger grasp on their minds. Then she raises her hand and speaks.

“You will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open.”

The troopers look at each other, more confused than anything.

“What?” one of them asks.

She swallows hard, trying not to lose her confidence. She can still feel the burgeoning connection between her mind and those of the troopers. Now she needs to manipulate it. She only needs enough to plant a thought in their heads. Behind her she hears Ben stand up, but she refuses to let herself be distracted.

“You will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open,” she repeats, trying her best to project more authority.

The troopers pause. Then they laugh. She tenses as one comes closer and jabs his blaster in her direction.

“I’ll tighten those restraints, scavenger scum,” he growls.

She straightens her shoulders. She’s not about to be outdone by a couple of morons who think with their blasters.

“You will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open.”

There’s a pause. A flickering impulse in the Force that jumps from her to them. Both of the troopers relax and lower their guns, and her eyes go wide.

“I will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open.”

One of them walks over to her and Ben and removes their cuffs, then turns and opens the cell door.

“And you’ll drop your weapons!” Rey stammers.

“And we’ll drop our weapons,” the troopers say in unison.

Their blasters clatter to the floor. Then they walk out into the hallway and disappear. Ben looks stunned.

“How did you know that would work?” he asks.

“I didn’t. Grab a gun.”

They each pick up one of the fallen blasters and peer nervously into the corridor. It looks empty now, but she’s sure patrols will be coming by soon.

“We need to find a hangar,” she whispers, “Any ideas?”

“Pick a direction and run.”

“You really are the worst at plans.”

They slip out into the hall, darting around corners and past locked doors until they reach a set of large blast doors. They hide on either side, in case there are more stormtroopers outside when they open it, but as the doors slide open, the corridor beyond looks deserted too. They repeat this pattern with each junction and change in direction - running down corridors, stopping, looking for patrols, waiting out patrols, then running again. Rey has no idea where they’re going. All the halls look exactly the same. But the further they go, the more troopers they see, and she thinks that means they _must_ be narrowing in on something important.

They stop at another junction and wait as another patrol goes by. This one is different, though. The troopers are running while one of them relays orders to search one of the supply depots near the detention area. Rey takes a shaky breath. They’ve been found out. Once the patrol is gone, she starts heading for the hallway the troopers just left, but Ben reaches out and grabs her shoulder.

“Not that way,” he hisses.

“What, why?”

“I don’t know, but we need to double back.”

They don’t have time to argue. They turn around and flee back the way they came, then down a different hallway, deeper into the facility.

“Did you see something?” Rey whispers as they pause at another junction.

“No,” Ben replies, “but something was coming. I think Snoke’s apprentice is onto us.”

* * *

The news that the prisoners have escaped is surprising, but not entirely unwelcome. As soon as he dismisses the messenger with orders to scour the base and lock down the hangars, Nil’s mind starts running through different scenarios. Certainly if Solo and the scavenger escape, it will reflect poorly on him, but Snoke won’t be able to kill him until their captives are returned. However, if he captures them alive and brings them back, he has no doubt Snoke will praise their skills while ignoring his own.

_But if they escape and then get themselves killed, the Supreme Leader will have to accept that he doesn’t have alternatives anymore. He’ll be angry, but he’ll have to move on._

“Sir, the sensors picked up an anomaly near hangar 718. We’re searching the area,” a trooper says.

“Very good. Be careful. They’re more dangerous than you realize,” he replies.

There are many moving parts, and any one person’s action could tip the scales, but that doesn’t concern him. He’s always been resourceful. All he needs now is to be patient and wait for his targets to make a mistake.

* * *

“Wait, over here!” Rey hisses.

As they run past an offshoot, something catches her eye and she skids to a stop. They change direction and emerge in a vast open space on a long walkway bordered on one side by a massive chasm. It’s big enough for a small ship to fly through, and on the other side is another identical walkway, spotted with openings into other corridors. To their right, the chasm ends at a small hangar, inside of which sit two TIE fighters and over a dozen stormtroopers patrolling both the walkways bordering the trench and the hangar platform itself. There’s a fueling station and a few crates of supplies, but the hangar is otherwise bare. Either all the other ships have launched, or this isn’t a hangar that gets much use.

“Can you fly that?” Ben asks, nodding towards the TIE.

“Maybe. Can you?”

“In theory.”

“I suppose it won’t matter if we can’t get to it.”

Back the way they came, they hear the clatter of boots. On the walkway off to the side, they see a couple of troopers with their backs turned to them. Ben’s heart starts pounding. They need to hide. To their left is an opening leading to another hallway, but it’s too far to run to without being noticed, and there are no boxes or anything to hide behind. The only other option is the chasm.

Rey slings the blaster onto her back and runs as quietly as she can towards the edge of the walkway. Seems she had the same idea. He glances over his shoulder at the approaching patrol, then back at her as she grabs onto the side of the trench and begins climbing down, out of sight. He checks again if the troopers on the walkway have seen them, then follows her to the edge.

They climb down far enough that the passing troopers don’t seem to notice them, but if they stay, the stormtroopers on the other side of the chasm might notice them instead. He looks around for anything they can use, but Rey beats him to it. She spots a lever a few feet below them and starts climbing down to it. When she reaches it, she grabs onto it and anchors her feet into the wall, then pulls down with all her strength. Ben flinches as part of the wall near him starts to move. Hydraulics hiss as a panel slides out from the wall, revealing a cramped but open space. They climb inside, and Rey’s hand finds a switch that retracts the narrow beam and attached panel back into the wall.

As soon as the panel is back in place, the compartment goes dark. Ben puts his hand on the wall, trying to get his bearings, and unfortunately for him, Rey again has the same idea. She reaches out into the darkness and her knuckles connect with his face. He grunts in surprise and reaches up to grab her hand before it can hit him again.

“Sorry,” she whispers, “Ok, we have to keep going down the hall to get to the fighters. Climbing over there will take too long.”

“How do we get a ship? I counted eight stormtroopers on the platform alone.”

“We need some kind of distraction. Something big.”

“I saw some fuel canisters on the platform. Too big?”

“It may be all we’ve got.”

They wait another minute or so before Rey hits the switch again. The panel opens, and once they’re sure it’s clear again, they climb back up to the walkway and run back into the corridor they came from.

They resume their pattern of creeping down a hall, stopping at a junction, waiting, and continuing forward towards the hangar. They don’t get far before they hear another patrol just around a corner a few yards ahead. Ben starts backing up and gestures for Rey to follow.

“We’ll go around, come on,” he hisses.

They turn around and dart down another offshoot as the troopers come around the corner. The offshoot connects to another corridor running parallel to the first. It seems quieter than the one they came from, and they duck around a corner when they can hide, but still watch the patrol’s progress.

“It’ll take forever to get there if we keep doing this,” Rey whispers.

“I know, but finding our way to the other side of the trench will take too long,” he replies.

Behind them, he hears footsteps.

“Ben!”

Rey whips around, blaster up, but Ben recognizes the voice immediately. He turns around and points Rey’s blaster at the floor as none other than Han Solo appears in the hallway, followed by Chewbacca and Finn.

“Dad?!” Ben hisses, “What are you-?”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence as Han rushes over and pulls him into a hug. Ben is stunned for half a second, but the shock wears off quickly and is replaced by overwhelming relief. He wraps his arms around his father and feels the tension in his gut finally relax. Han takes a step back and gives his son a somewhat dazed once over. Finding no signs of injury, he sighs in relief.

“Are you ok, kid?” he asks.

“Fine. Dad-.”

“And your friend there?” Han asks, pointing to Rey as Finn comes rushing over to her.

“Rey! What happened, did he hurt you?” Finn asks.

“No, we’re ok,” she says. She looks from Finn to Han and Chewie and back again, “What are you all doing here?”

Finn stares at her, baffled by her question. Isn’t it obvious?

“We came back for you.”

Rey is floored, and her joy is palpable as she hugs Finn. Finn seems startled by the embrace, but not unhappy as he smiles and hugs her back.

“Thank you,” she whispers, her voice choked with emotion.

Finn glances over Rey’s shoulder at Ben.

“Oh, you too, Solo,” he adds.

“Don’t lie to me,” Ben replies.

Chewie grumbles at Ben, expressing that he’s glad he’s ok. The Wookiee hugs him, and for a moment he’s suffocated by fur.

“Ok, escape now, hug later,” Han says. Then he pauses as a realization hits him. He looks at Finn, “Hang on, is that why you called me Solo _Two?”_

Ben grins at Finn.

“You did what?”

“Ok, yeah, escape now, hug later,” Finn stammers.

They hurry back down the hall Han, Chewie, and Finn came from and find a large cargo elevator that will take them up to the surface. As everyone piles in, Han hangs back and gestures at Ben to wait.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” he asks.

_If by ok you mean I saw you and mom through the Force moments before I saw myself kill you, then yes. I’m fine._

His hesitation to answer the question honestly must be written all over his face, because Han’s casual concern turns to genuine fear. Ben glances down, trying to figure out what to say. Then he notices which jacket his father is wearing. It’s a new one, less than a year old, and it’s one of many that Han has worn over the years. It’s a detail that normally wouldn’t even register. But it’s the same one he was wearing as, in his visions, Ben watched him die. For a second he can’t quite breathe right.

“Ben,” Han begs, his tired eyes wide with subdued panic.

“We don’t have time,” Ben says, shaking it off and turning towards the elevator, “Tell you later.”

His father lets go of some of his anxiety, but can’t dismiss all of it as he follows Ben into the elevator. For a moment Ben starts thinking about what he should say to him when this is all over, but he realizes he doesn’t have the energy. Right now, it’s just too much to contemplate. Inside the elevator, everyone is deathly quiet, and even the sound of his own breathing sounds deafening. When the doors open again, it’s like climbing out of a freezing ocean and jumping directly into a volcano.

The sound of battle above them drowns out everything else. TIE fighters and X-wings fire round after round at each other as the Resistance pilots struggle to bombard a massive, black structure just ahead. An X-wing falls in flames ahead of them and crumples as it strikes the ground, throwing up clouds of snow, dirt, and smoke. Then their eyes are drawn even further up into the sky to the fading sun beyond the clouds. A burning beam of light connects it and the planet as its energy is slowly sucked down into the First Order’s monstrous weapon.

Han stares up at the dogfight, and it quickly becomes apparent that while the Resistance is giving it everything they have, it’s a one-sided battle.

“They’re in trouble. We can’t leave.”

He turns and looks at the rest of them.

“My friend’s got a bag full of explosives. Let’s use ‘em.”

“Blow up the oscillator from the inside out,” Finn says, catching on.

“Exactly.”

“We’ll have to find a way around the lockdown. No doubt they’ve closed off all access to the inside of the oscillator. And the place will be crawling with stormtroopers.”

Rey starts catching on as well, and it only takes her a few seconds to search through her massive internal archive of mechanical knowledge for a solution.

“If I can get to the fuse that controls the doors, I could disable it.”

Finn nods.

“She can. She’s a great mechanic,” he says.

Han nods.

“Ok, do you know where that is?”

“I think so,” Finn replies.

“Then you two go take out the doors,” Han gestures to him and Rey, then turns to Chewie and Ben, “We’ll go create a distraction. Then once the doors are open, we’ll set the charges.”

Ben glances around and spots a couple of snowspeeders parked near the elevator.

“We can take those,” he says, pointing.

The group splits when they reach the speeders. Chewie gets onto one, and Rey gets onto the other. As Rey familiarizes herself with the controls and starts the speeder’s engine, her fingers start to shake. Her breath comes out in clouds, and it occurs to Ben that she’s dressed for a desert. He takes his jacket off and drapes it around her shoulders.

“Be careful,” he says gently.

She looks up at him, surprised, and he quickly turns around and walks back over to the other speeder as his face starts to warm.

_Idiot. Finn could have done that._

Han raises an eyebrow at him, and a knowing smile spreads across his face.

“What’s going on there?” he asks.

“Get on the speeder.”

With the help of the speeders, it doesn’t take them long to reach the oscillator. Then, as they get closer, they split off. While Rey and Finn head for a smaller maintenance door, Ben, Han, and Chewie speed straight towards the main entrance. Before the speeder has even come to a full stop, Han jumps off and draws his blaster. Ben and Chewie follow close behind.

“You two ready?” Han asks.

Chewie roars and readies his bowcaster. Han hits the door panel, and the blast doors come sliding open. In the hallway beyond there’s only one stormtrooper, but he raises the alarm the moment he sees the intruders. Then all hell breaks loose.

The three of them dive for cover behind support struts in the corridor. Chewie fires his bowcaster, blowing away the first trooper as two more come around the corner. Blaster bolts explode against the wall as they exchange fire with Han and Ben, but in the end they can’t shoot fast enough. They go down as well. Chewie pushes forward and fires at another trooper as he rounds the corner. The bolt goes wide and explodes against the back wall, but it causes the trooper to freeze just long enough for Ben to take him down. Han’s lip twitches upwards into an approving smile.

“Nice shot.”

Chewie growls and gestures down the corridor. When they walk around the corner, they see a small alcove barred by a door.

“I’ll bet that’s the maintenance hatch,” Han says.

They stand by the door and wait. A minute later, it opens with a resonant _thunk_ and sets off a chain reaction in the narrow hatch. One after the other, the rest of the doors slide open and the lights flicker on, revealing their target at the very end.

“That girl knows her stuff,” Han notes, “Where did you pick her up again?”

“Jakku. She was piloting the _Falcon_ when I found it,” Ben says.

“Huh. A mechanic, a pilot. I can see why you like her.”

Ben doesn’t say anything, just gives his father a withering look that says _“set bombs now, embarrass me later.”_

They emerge on a narrow catwalk that wraps around the entire circumference of a massive open shaft. Steam drifts up from exposed pipes. Support struts arc over the catwalk, and flights of stairs and ladder wells bridge the catwalks and the platform below, creating a forest of metal around the edge of the pit. The silence inside the oscillator is heavy, and their footsteps and the occasional hiss from the pipes are the only sounds that aren’t absorbed by the vast space around them. It immediately sets Ben on edge.

“We’ll set the charges on every other column,” Han says, dividing the charges up among the three of them.

Chewie makes a counterpoint and Han nods.

“You’re right, that’s a better idea,” he concedes, “You take the top, Ben and I will go below.”

He withdraws a small silver remote from his pocket and hands it to Chewie.

“Detonator,” he says, “We’ll meet back here.”

Then they split.

Han and Ben slip down a flight of stairs, doing their best not to rattle the structure as they go. They watch for any signs of stormtroopers, but for now the coast is clear.

“Left. Right,” Han says, pointing to himself and then to Ben.

Ben nods and heads off into the maze of thick steel columns, computer terminals, and cargo crates. He searches for support columns and other parts of the structure whose collapse might cripple the oscillator, and, once he identifies them, plants the charges in inconspicuous places. He gets two hidden before he hears a door sliding open and the stomping of boots on the metal floor.

He retreats further into the mess of steam pipes and grates as an entire squad of stormtroopers comes pouring out onto the catwalks. They fan out, heading up every stairwell and running past the rows of support columns, hunting for intruders. He watches as two troopers run past in quick succession, towards the columns he has yet to place charges on. He refuses to let it faze him, though, and he presses on, planting a charge, ducking out of sight, waiting, and carrying on.

By the time he gets all of his bombs set, most of the troopers have made it far enough along the ring to avoid. The few who are left survey the platforms from the middle catwalk, high enough to sneak past on the lower levels.

As Ben stops and takes a moment to survey the scene, a single beam of light spills into the space, filling the catwalks with conflicting shades of blue and red. He looks towards the source and sees two familiar figures run out onto a balcony at the very top of the structure. Then he picks out Chewie near one of the larger columns, lurking just behind the stormtroopers on the middle level. He doesn’t see his father, but there isn’t time to look. He’ll just have to trust that Han will be close behind.

He slips through the shadows to a short staircase built into the back wall and starts making his way up. He presses his back against a support strut as he reaches the top and walks onto the middle catwalk. He peers around the corner at the two troopers standing guard only a few yards from him. He looks beyond them to the column where he saw Chewie earlier, and after a moment the Wookiee pokes his head out. He catches Ben’s eye, then slips back into the shadows. Then Ben hears a soft clattering down the central staircase, close to the edge of the catwalk. The troopers immediately snap to attention and head down the stairs to investigate the noise. Then Chewie and Ben make a break for it.

Chewie emerges from the shadows and runs up the central staircase to the upper level. Ben spots a second staircase only a few feet away from his own hiding place, shrouded in darkness and far out of the troopers’ field of vision. He darts out of his hiding place and starts climbing. A soft, metallic tap echoes up from the shadows below him. Before he can even wonder at the source, a flash of red light bursts up from under the skeletal staircase.

He startles backwards as a humming red blade slashes through the stairs and its support beams. Sparks spring out at him, carrying with them the tang of hot metal. The thin beams groan and bend, and the steps start crashing down underneath him. He lunges forward as he falls and grabs onto the next step still standing. He gets no time to even begin pulling himself up. The lightsaber swings up again, and he lets go as the next piece of the stairs is cut down. He falls backwards into the shadows below, striking the fallen staircase and rolling onto the floor with a clang. Pain explodes in his back, but he doesn’t have time to dwell on it. The lightsaber hums through the air as its wielder springs out of the darkness and strikes.

Nil’s pale eyes blaze with unbridled fury as he swings his lightsaber down towards Ben. Ben narrowly avoids the blade, and the lightsaber strikes the metal floor instead, sending sparks falling between the grates. Ben scrambles to his feet and unloads with his stolen blaster. Nil whirls his saber up and deflects the bolts. They strike the walls, leaving scorch marks in their wake, but do nothing to deter his attacker. Ben continues to fire regardless as he backs up onto the middle catwalk. Above him he can hear a commotion as Finn and Rey notice what’s going on and scramble to find something they can do to help.

The stormtroopers on the lower level turn and start running back towards the stairs. More troopers run to join them. Chewie runs to the railing on the upper catwalk and starts taking shots at the troopers below with his bowcaster. Nil pauses his assault, distracted for a split second by the shouts of the stormtroopers. Once again his face strikes Ben as familiar, but this time it clicks, and he’s able to drag up a memory: 

_ He’s nine years old. Uncle Luke and his parents stand just far enough behind him that their whispering voices are hard to understand, but Ben doesn’t need ears to know what they’re feeling. His father is nervous. Frustrated. ‘This isn’t a good idea,’ he thinks to himself. His mother is equally frustrated, but glad that at the very least Han is entertaining this idea of hers. Luke is at a loss. Doesn’t know how to smooth this rift over. So he focuses on the task at hand. They’ll decide what’s best for their son regardless of what he thinks about it. The family splits. They say their goodbyes. His mother reassures him that this’ll just be for a few days. They’ll be back. Then his uncle turns him towards the growing crowd of other children. One by one he introduces them until they reach the very last boy, a stern looking child who stands with his arms crossed, pale eyes narrowed.  _

_ “And this is-.” _

“Nil, wait!” he says as the Mirialan’s eyes flick back to him, “We know each other, don’t we. From before. It was my uncle’s academy wasn’t it.”

Nil tilts his head, a look of sinister curiosity on his face. A wicked smile splits his face.

“Well look at that,” he chuckles, “You do remember. I’m almost impressed.”

He stalks forward a few steps, and Ben backs up the same distance. He braces for another assault but it doesn’t come. Not yet.

“You were one of the students who showed me around,” he continues, “You didn’t like me.”

“No. No, I didn’t,” Nil replies, the humor fading from his face, “Who _would_ like some little kid who just walked into the academy without an invitation, while the rest of you had to be specially selected? That’s not exactly a great place to start.”

“That wasn’t my choice.”

“Does that make it more fair? None of us choose where we’re born, but that doesn’t erase the injustices we inherit. Or the privileges.”

Ben pauses and glowers at him.

“It was you, wasn’t it. You turned those students and killed the rest.”

“It wasn’t hard. Even your famous uncle was powerless to stop me,” Nil takes a slow, calculating step forward. Ben tenses, but holds his ground, “I suppose you’re lucky that you never actually started your training. Otherwise you would have burned up along with everyone else.”

Ben takes a deep breath, eyes darting around, looking for a way out. Nil narrows his eyes and spins his lightsaber in a tight flourish.

“Better late than never.”

“What are you afraid of?” Ben spits, “That I’ll take your job? Is that it? That I’ll drop everything and agree to be Snoke’s new attack dog?”

“You won’t have a choice. Something will give eventually, and when that happens, he won’t have a reason to keep me around. Lucky for me, there’s an easy solution.”

“So why stay at all? You know he’ll betray you either way.”

“Because I’m not done with him,” Nil snaps, “Snoke is the most powerful man in the galaxy, and he’s agreed to teach me what he knows. If I’m replaced now, this will all be for nothing.”

“And it’ll still be for nothing if he kills you later.”

Nil doesn’t waver. It’s clear he’s done talking. Ben fires another shot at him, but he blocks it and lunges forward. Ben jumps back as the blade slashes through the air, inches from his torso, but he isn’t fast enough to avoid the follow up. Nil sweeps the blade upwards, and searing pain shoots through the right side of Ben’s neck and face as the lightsaber carves a burning gash into his skin. As he reels backwards, his legs are swept out from under him and he falls again. His blaster hits the ground next to him, and before he can move to grab it again, the blade is at his throat.

“Then I’ll die the strongest warrior in the galaxy,” Nil says, “Which is more than I can say for you.”

He raises the saber to strike again, just as a volley of blaster fire comes from the upper catwalk. He cries out in pain and anger as a bolt strikes him in the shoulder. Rey and Finn, having found a way down from the balcony, continue to unload their blasters, but their advantage is lost. Nil glares up at them, and though the torrent of lasers doesn’t stop, he’s able to brush them aside with ease. With his enemy distracted, Ben scrambles backwards. He hears more blaster fire from down below. On the catwalk above, Finn runs along the railing, following Ben.

“Solo!” he yells, “Here!”

Then he reaches into his jacket and pulls out the lightsaber. And Ben hesitates. With his mind reopened to the Force, he can hear the almost imperceptible hum of the crystal inside. Though it doesn’t call out to him the way it called to Rey, it still seems content to be wielded by her friends. He knows he should take it. It’s the only weapon with a chance against Nil’s own saber. He may not be able to escape without it.

And yet, he hesitates.

More troopers come up onto the middle catwalk, and the time to make his decision passes. The troopers start trading blaster fire with Rey. Without any cover, she’s too easy of a target, and she turns and starts running back for the balcony. The troopers then take aim at Finn. He gives Ben one last frantic, confused look before following Rey back to safety. Ben turns his attention back to Nil as his opponent recovers. The wound only seems to add to his fury, and he charges.

Ben ducks behind a support column and hears the saber clash with the metal. His eyes find another staircase leading to the upper catwalk, the one that Chewie already climbed. He hears the Wookiee roaring and firing his bowcaster from the upper level at the stormtroopers below. Bolts explode against the floor and send troopers careening over the rails. Ben hears pounding footsteps on the staircase leading up from the lower platform, and a second later he sees Han running with more stormtroopers hot on his tail.

“Ben, come on! Run!” he shouts.

No need to tell him twice. The troopers start firing again as they reach the middle catwalk, but their focus is drawn by the furious Wookiee raining hell on them from above. Ben backs away from the column and follows his father.

A blast of pressure hits them before they can get very far, and they go tumbling along the catwalk, past the staircase. Han pops back up onto one knee almost immediately and fires his blaster at Nil. Ben falters for a beat as new bruises and possible fractures are added to his growing mess of mild injuries, but he doesn’t stay down long. Another surge of adrenaline masks the aches and pains, and he too gets back up and starts unloading his blaster. Unrelenting, their enemy charges again, closing the distance between them in seconds.

Han grabs onto the railing to pull himself up, but Nil slashes downward and slices right though the thin metal. Han jumps backwards a few feet, and as he does, Nil brings the saber back around, slicing through his blaster. Ben gets up and takes another shot, and again it’s deflected. Han tries again to get to his feet, and again Nil slashes at the railing, startling him backwards. A long piece of the rail clatters onto the catwalk as Nil turns back to Ben. Another shot. Another deflection. The blade comes down and slices the front of the blaster in two. Han grabs the fallen metal rail and gets to his feet, only to find the saber turned on him. Nil levels the blade at Han’s chest with his left hand, but his right he keeps trained on Ben.

Then Ben can’t breathe.

Nil turns his head, and the desperate fury in his eyes cools as the invisible pressure around Ben’s throat increases. Ben tries to suck in another breath, but the pressure increases again and any air that was left in his lungs is crushed out of him. Spots dance in front of his eyes. Then his legs start to give, and he falls down onto one knee. He grits his teeth and locks eyes with Nil, fighting for every scrap of consciousness he can. He won’t give in to this. There has to be something he can do. There has to be something left. Anything. But he can’t move. Can’t speak. The spots grow more numerous until he can’t see at all, and all he can hear is the hum of Nil’s lightsaber, the sound of distant blaster fire, and his own faltering heartbeat.

_This can’t be it. I can’t…_

His burning lungs heave in his chest, fighting for air that isn’t there. As even sound becomes deafened, all that’s left is the Force wavering around him. He could use it. He could reach out and try to break free, but the fog in his head is too thick. He wouldn’t even know where to begin. So he listens instead. He can feel Nil’s presence, his confidence and his satisfaction, like a cloud of acrid smoke spreading out into the universe. He can feel the presence of those stormtroopers who are left until they wink out of existence and dissolve into the greater Cosmic Force. He can sense Chewie, Rey, and Finn far above them now, frightened and struggling to make sense of the messy battle before them.

And he can feel his father, and it hits him how long it’s been since he’s felt Han’s presence. He can feel his father’s fear, anger, and grief, all lashing out into the Force around him, desperate and untamed. Its sting is even more painful than the cloud of the Dark Side around Nil. It’s raw and loud and so terribly unfamiliar. Never in his life has he felt such an outpouring of emotion from a man who is usually so reluctant to admit out loud how deep his feelings run. But he feels it now. Now, even under all the pain and suffering, he can feel just how much his dad cares, and if anything, the ferocity of his love makes his grief that much more potent.

_I’m so sorry._

Somewhere he hears a furious shout, and the Force around him explodes and fractures in a flurry of conflicting emotions, all bleeding together from the different people around him. Confusion, fear, anger, pain, but above all...resolve.

Air floods back into his lungs.

He drops onto his hands and knees, gasping. Static swarms across his vision, and he feels dizzy as oxygen rushes back into his system. For a moment even his own thoughts are drowned out by the rush of blood in his ears and the heaving of air in his chest. Then he starts to stabilize. He can think. He can move. He looks up, mind reeling as he tries to figure out what just happened. The sight that greets him makes him wish he had just blacked out instead.

Nil and Han stare each other down. The metal rail in Han’s hands is buried in Nil’s side, and for the first time since coming here, Ben sees real fear in the Mirialan’s eyes. Han is unwavering, and he glares back with cold purpose. Steadfast. Even as his chest is impaled on Nil’s blade.

Finn and Rey scream. Chewie roars, and a bowcaster bolt explodes on the floor near Nil’s feet. Everyone unfreezes. The lightsaber deactivates. Nil staggers backwards, blood dripping onto the catwalk. The rail falls from Han’s hands. He grabs onto what’s left of the railing as he begins to fall.

“Dad!” Ben yells.

“Get out of here, kid,” Han groans, trying to project some kind authority, but his voice just comes out strangled.

Ben stumbles forward and catches Han as he loses his grip on the railing.

“Ben, I’m serious…”

No words come. There’s nothing Ben can say that doesn’t feel empty and pointless. He looks at the wound in his father’s chest, and he knows. There is _nothing_ he can do. Not a damn thing. His eyes sting but no tears fall. His heart feels numb. This can’t possibly be real. If he blinks will everything around him disappear? If he pleads with enough passion, will this turn into just another horrific vision?

Han reaches up and touches his son’s face, fingers just grazing over the bleeding gash there, and Ben feels like he’s suffocating all over again. If he could run, if he could just curl up inside his quiet void where the only thoughts and feelings that exist are his own, then this wouldn’t be happening. He wouldn’t have to feel each waning heartbeat and shaking breath or watch the light drain from Han’s eyes. He wouldn’t be able to sense each passing thought full of both stubborn rejection and peaceful acceptance as the man who raised him simply ceases to exist. But it’s something he has to do. Though the pain is deep and choking and fills his gut with bitterness ( _it’s not fair, it’s not_ fair) he has to bear it. He won’t leave him.

Of course, Han knows that. With what strength he has left, he manages an amused smile. A foreign scrap of thought drifts through Ben’s head. _His stubborn kid. His bright and willful boy, of course he picks the worst times to plant his feet. At least he comes by it honest._

There’s more Han wants to say, but he doesn’t know how. He’s never known how. What he doesn’t realize is that he _has_ said it. Over and over again. He said it when he “happened across” a weird part Ben needed to repair the _Thranta’s_ cargo lifts. He said it when he first taught him to fly and how to appreciate a good spacecraft. He said it when he tried to understand even a little of Ben’s “space wizard stuff”, even though it was all over his head. He said it when Ben would wake up screaming from some night terror that he couldn’t even remember, and he would stay with him until he fell back asleep. He said it when he would come home late, but always take a peek inside his son’s room to make sure everything was ok before he went to bed. He said it only seconds ago.

There’s so much he wants to say, but he doesn’t need to say any of it. Ben already knows.

“Go…” Han murmurs.

His hand slips. His eyes close.

Ben can still feel his lifeforce, even as it bleeds out into the Force, and for one moment, he sees his father as he always was: as an imperfect, but always devoted, point of warm, resonant light within an increasingly dark and fitful universe.

Then there’s nothing.

A sob tries to wrest itself free, but it catches in Ben’s chest as he forces it back down. He can’t do this. Not now.

_If you wait, they will kill you. Then none of this will mean anything._

He lays his father’s body down on the catwalk as another bowcaster bolt explodes on the catwalk between Ben and Nil.

And he starts running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took so long to finish. It had to be just right, but I was having a really hard time nailing down what words and descriptors I should use. And I told myself "ok, look, all you have to do is kill Han. Once that's done, the last two chapters will write themselves, it'll be easier" but you know what's hilarious? It wasn't. The last two chapters were just as hard to finish, if not harder. Life imitates art ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	8. Crossing the Threshold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck, I'm late again. Sorry guys, lol.

When the bombs go off, Ben barely notices. He only realizes there’s a new threat to contend with when the entire structure beneath him shakes and groans, and he nearly loses his balance on the ladder to the upper balcony. Finn grabs onto his arm and hauls him up the last couple rungs onto the uppermost catwalk. The other man’s eyes are wide with shock, and his movements are frantic.

“Why didn’t you take the lightsaber?!” he cries.

Finn doesn’t say it, but underneath the question is a statement they both know is true.

_If you had, this wouldn’t have happened._

Rey runs to Ben’s other side and helps pull him to his feet. The three of them sprint down the catwalk to the balcony’s outer doors, stumbling as another explosion rocks the structure. The earthquake continues as they climb down the ladder to the ground below. Clouds of smoke billow out through fractures in the oscillator’s walls. Blasts of heat mix with the frigid winds outside, creating a vortex of snow and flame around them. It dissipates almost as soon as they reach the ground, making the forest beyond feel lifeless by comparison.

They slow their pace as they climb up a low ridge and make it beyond the tree line. The adrenaline high comes crashing down, and every suppressed sensation starts seeping back into Ben’s body. The pain from the gash along his face and neck is the hardest to ignore, but even it starts going numb again as the past ten minutes start replaying in his head. The loop gets shorter and shorter until the only thing he can see is the malevolent red glow of the lightsaber on his father’s face. The longer he pictures it, the more distorted it becomes, until the blade is a jagged beam of fire and the steady hum warps to a low crackle.

_It still happened._

“Ben? Ben, look at me.”

He blinks out of his thoughts and realizes he’s come to a complete stop. Rey stands in front of him, her hands on his arms.

“Sorry,” he murmurs.

She purses her lips, trying to figure out what to say and coming up short. What do you say in times like this? Is there anything you _can_ say? She shrugs off Ben’s jacket, still hanging off her tiny frame like a tunic, and tries to put it back on him, but he’s just a bit too tall. She scrunches up her nose in annoyance when she realizes her attempt at a sweet gesture has flopped. It’s adorable. He smiles weakly and takes it from her, hoping she can hear his silent thank you.

“We have to keep moving,” Finn says, looking at the dogfight still raging behind them, “The _Falcon_ is this way.”

They trudge onwards. Rey draws her blaster and forges onward, checking to make sure there’s no one waiting for them ahead. The forest is silent save for the crunch of snow under their feet.

“Solo, I hope you don’t-...What I said earlier…” Finn stammers, “I don’t know what happened in the base, we-...”

He stops and takes a breath.

“This isn’t your fault.”

_Of course, you’re right. He did, quite literally, ask for it,_ Ben thinks, but it doesn’t feel all that funny, even for gallows humor, so he doesn’t say anything. As if he could form full sentences right now anyway. Finn isn’t sure what else to say either. For a moment it seems like he’s going to give Ben an uncertain pat on the shoulder, but he decides against it. His hand hovers without direction for a few seconds before he drops it back down to where it was and keeps walking.

Ben puts his jacket back on and tries to breathe. Think about something else. Anything else.

A lightsaber ignites behind them.

Everyone stops. Ben doesn’t want to look behind them. He already knows what he’ll see, and the thought fills him with empty fury. Staying calm and breathing gets harder with every second he has to feel Nil’s presence. He can’t just stand around and wait for someone else to act, he has to do _something._ Killing Nil isn’t within his power, but that isn’t a problem. If he could make him suffer even a little, that would suffice.

“And just where do you three think you’re going,” Nil growls.

The anger is plain on Finn and Rey’s faces, but neither of them move as they weigh their options. Ben curls his hand into a fist. He doesn’t have a weapon, but the universe isn’t held together by blasters.

He wheels around, his exhaustion forgotten, and all around them - in the snow and the trees and the firing of their nerves - the Force reacts. He feels it bend and tense as, for the first time in years, he does not respond to its call; it responds to him. The grief and rage pent up inside him bleeds out of him all at once, clashing with the energy around him and transforming it. What once was warm is cold. What once was peaceful is in chaos. Light bends and is smothered by darkness. He knows he should be terrified by what’s happening, but that fear never gains traction. The Force crackles and strains, waiting to be released.

He thrusts his hand forward, and for a moment, Nil’s entire body seizes. His eyes go wide. His arms lock up. Then he grits his teeth and pushes back. He jerks his hand upwards, and a blast of pressure comes thundering towards them.

It’s enough to send all three of them flying backwards, and they tumble through the snow. Nil pauses and releases a pained breath, but he shrugs it off. He advances, giving his lightsaber a lazy twirl.

“Really, is that it?” he asks, “I know you’re much more angry than that.”

Rey scrambles to her feet and draws her blaster. She doesn’t even get a shot off before she’s blasted backwards again. She flies upwards and slams into a tree before falling back down into the snow.

“Rey!” Finn yells.

He gets to his feet, attention squarely on his friend who now lays immobile on the ground. His concern is palpable as he evaluates her injuries. Their enemy continues to advance, however. Ben grimaces and pushes himself up onto one knee. Nil doesn’t seem the least bit concerned.

“You don’t have to hold yourself back, you know,” he says, “There’s no one left to impress. It’s just you and me.”

Ben tries to breathe, but he has to ask himself what he stands to gain by staying calm now. He already tried reigning in his emotions and foregoing any use of the Force. Look where that got him.

_It almost worked,_ he thinks, _If I tried again…_

He hears the snow crunch behind him as Finn speaks up.

“Solo?” he ventures, but he goes ignored.

“Well? Are you going to make a decision?” Nil taunts as he wanders ever closer, “Or do I have to kill someone else before you’ll fight back?”

Ben hauls himself to his feet.

“No one else dies today,” he growls.

“Someone always has to die. Today it’s either me or you. So which is it?”

Ben knows the answer before the question is even asked.

“Hey!”

He glances back as Finn shouts. Nil’s focus is drawn away as Finn takes a few steps forward and takes the lightsaber out of his pocket. He glares at Nil and grips the lightsaber with both hands, raised and ready for battle.

“I’m still here, remember?”

Then the blade ignites. Blue and red light clash in the rapidly darkening forest. Ben’s train of furious thoughts is interrupted, and he reminds himself that Finn is right. He’s not alone in this.

Finn’s steely gaze doesn’t leave Nil. His voice is steady and commanding.

“Solo, get Rey out of here.”

He doesn’t repeat himself. He doesn’t have to. Ben starts moving immediately. A bemused smile crosses Nil’s face.

“I’ve never been involved in the training of stormtroopers, but I’m fairly confident that lightsaber combat isn’t in the curriculum.”

With one arm behind his back, he raises his blade, holding it parallel to his body, before swinging it back down to his side in a mocking salute, inviting Finn to attack. Finn is happy to answer the challenge.

“I’m a fast learner.”

Then he charges.

Ben drops down next to Rey as the sound of lightsabers clashing erupts behind him. She’s breathing, but she’s out cold. He scoops her up, wincing as his bruised ribs protest, and manages to get the both of them behind a boulder not far away. He drops down, his back to the stone. Could they make it all the way to the _Falcon?_ He considers it, but has to drop that line of thought immediately. He doesn’t even know where it is. They would just be running directionless across the surface of a doomed planet. They would never make it out.

He lays Rey back down in the snow, then cranes his neck around the boulder to see what’s going on. Finn presses his assault, forcing Nil to play defense immediately. He swings the saber in short, forceful arcs, pushing his opponent backwards. Though his technique is simple in style, his strikes are powerful, and Nil is forced to put all his energy into blocking them. Finn’s advantage doesn’t last, though. As he goes in for another hit, Nil jumps backwards instead of blocking. Finn stumbles, but so does his opponent as the movement jars his wound. Nil winces, free hand instinctively going to his stomach as he tries to push past it. Finn swings again, and again Nil side steps. Then the apprentice launches an offensive of his own.

He counters with a series of sharp sweeps and flourishes. Though each swing is fueled by his desperate anger, they are, nonetheless, precise. Each attack follows the other in a smooth, yet relentless, onslaught. Finn is able to bat them away, but his movements are wide and leave him vulnerable. He tries to put more distance between himself and Nil, but his opponent lunges forward and pierces Finn’s shoulder with the end of his blade. Finn goes stumbling backwards. Nil could easily jump in and finish him off, but he holds back, just toying with him. For now.

Ben starts to stand. He doesn’t exactly have a plan, but he knows he can’t sit back and do nothing. Then he hears a soft groan, and Rey opens her eyes. She sits up slowly, and Ben crouches back down next to her.

“You alright?” he asks.

“Yes, I think so,” she mutters, rubbing the back of her head, “What happened?”

Her eyes widen when she finally registers the sounds of fighting just beyond their cover. Ben holds his hands out to stop her as she starts to get up.

“I’m going to help Finn. You stay down.”

“What? How? You don’t even have a blaster,” she says.

“That didn’t help me before.”

“Well-!...No, but still!”

Ben peers out from behind the rock again. The fight has migrated further into the trees, away from them. It’s hard to tell how Finn is doing between the trunks of the pines, but he’s still up, so that’s enough.

“Ben, you’re not going to do what you did before, are you?” Rey asks.

A chill runs up his spine and he pauses. He didn’t want to stop and think about what he was doing. He didn’t want to weigh the moral pros and cons because they don’t have _time,_ but now there’s no way around it. He sighs, frustrated.

“Why shouldn’t I?” he asks.

“Because whatever that was, it felt _wrong._ It-.”

“My father just died because I wasn’t willing to use all the resources at my disposal. The same will happen to Finn and to us if we don’t do something.”

Rey doesn’t budge, and her expression darkens.

“This is exactly what you told me you were afraid of. The Dark Side. I know you’re angry, and I know you’re hurting, but I won’t let you do this.”

The wave of fury he’d been riding finally loses its ground, and reality comes crashing down around him. She’s right. Her words sting, and he hates it, but she’s right. What is he doing? What is he _thinking?_ He gave in without a second thought, and it was as simple as raising his hand. As natural as breathing. Was there even one moment of resistance? The chill in his spine seeps into his blood, and his body starts to go numb again. In the forest beyond, he hears a startled yelp.

He and Rey turn their heads to look just as the lightsaber is thrown from Finn’s hands. Finn scrambles backwards and tries to run, but he’s not fast enough. Nil lunges and sweeps his blade up. It carves into Finn’s back. Finn screams. Then he falls forward into the snow, silent.

For a moment, no one speaks. There’s only the blowing of the wind and the sound of Ben and Rey’s own stunned breathing. Then Rey takes a deep breath, fear giving way to resolve.

“I’ll draw him off,” she says.

Ben thinks to argue for half a second, but he stops himself. There isn’t anything he can do. This is her fight. He nods.

_Be careful,_ he thinks.

Then Rey stands and wades out into the squall.

* * *

She knows she ought to feel more afraid, but fear is the last thing on her mind as she walks closer to Nil. In her mind she sees Han’s body on the catwalk as the oscillator is torn to pieces around them. She sees Finn lying injured in front of her as the snow blows across his body. She sees Ben, wounded inside and out, shaking with fury from the conflict storming inside him. She sees herself, forced to watch the people she’s come to love suffering, all to further the goals of some wicked man who thinks he has any right to command the galaxy. And she sees Nil, a cruel and sadistic agent of death who feels nothing, even as the world comes crumbling down around them. She knows what she has to do. No more running.

_You won’t take them. No one else dies._

Nil’s focus isn’t on her. He looks instead at the lightsaber now embedded in the snow. He holds his hand out and attempts to call the saber to him, but it barely stirs, and he frowns. Rey’s heart pounds in her chest as she mimics his gesture, silently begging the lightsaber to respond to her call. Again the saber stirs in the snow. Then it breaks free and flies forward.

It lands squarely in her open palm.

She nearly loses her breath as all around her, within the saber, and within herself, she hears the Force resonating. The crystal hums and sings from within its housing, and she stares at it with wide eyes. It feels almost the same as before, like holding an electrified wire in her hand, but the frantic tension in the Force that followed is absent. Instead, the saber feels warm. Instead of panic, she feels strength. She closes her other hand around the hilt and stares at her enemy.

When the blade ignites, it’s like opening her eyes for the first time.

Nil stares back, confused, amazed, and perhaps, just a little afraid. Rey takes a deep breath. Then she levels the saber at him and lunges.

On Jakku once the day was over, when she wasn’t practicing piloting with her simulator or trying to repair a piece of tech before trading it in, she would go outside with her staff, and she would drill herself on basic combat maneuvers. She would spend hours swiping at imaginary enemies and kicking up sand under the setting sun. Her staff had taken some experimentation to get right, but once she was done, she’d created a weapon that was weighty, strong, and perfectly balanced. The lightsaber in her hands is nothing like her staff, yet somehow wielding it fills her with the exact same courage. The blade is weightless, and the balance is unlike any weapon she’s ever wielded, but it feels every bit as powerful.

Nil stays on the defensive as she comes at him, blocking her strikes and trying to keep his distance where he can as he evaluates his opponent. He doesn’t let her gain much ground, however. After trading a few blows, he grits his teeth and presses forward. Though he’s able to push her back a few steps, she refuses to let him advance any further. She steps to the side and swings the saber in a wide arc towards him. He ducks out of the way, and the blade slices through the trunk of a tree. She starts to stumble, but she leans into it and lets the momentum carry her forward into another strike. Nil sidesteps her again, and any lingering fear in his eyes disappears. He twirls his saber in a tight arc, building his own momentum and lunging forward.

The way he fights is controlled and deliberate, and she realizes if she wants to get the better of him, she’ll have to force him to get sloppy and make a mistake. However, it’s hard to think ahead when all her energy is focused on predicting his movements so _she_ isn’t the one who loses control of her blade. As he pushes her deeper and deeper into the forest, slashing trees and parrying what few blows she’s able to land, she begins to fall behind. She blocks more, attacks less, and her initial advantage gradually disappears. He’s confident now. She can sense it. The need for clever tricks wanes, and he focuses more on power and speed than technique. It’s more effective than she would like. Full blocks become glancing parries and parries become short retreats. Soon she’s running backwards, slashing trunks and branches as she goes, trying to slow him down any way she can.

She wonders how far she can go before she’s forced to change her tactics. The earth answers for her as the ground behind them quakes. Trees fall and crack as the bedrock crumbles. A colossal fissure opens up, and what was once flat ground becomes a sheer cliff. She tries to slow their progress to the edge, but their battle is moving too quickly. At the edge of the cliff she makes one last desperate attempt to push him back. She thrusts her blade forward, but it catches against his. The blades crackle and spit as they’re locked together. He tries to raise his blade to break the lock, but she moves with him, bringing them to a stalemate right at the edge of the crumbling ridge.

It takes all her strength to hold her position. She knows she could be thrown off the cliff at any moment, and she has to wonder why Nil hasn’t done that already. His expression is stoic, but his pale eyes still burn. She senses his anger, which has fizzled now to a dull, resigned ache, and beyond that an envious curiosity. He wonders about her, what’s so special about her, and she senses something else she wasn’t expecting: pity. She remembers Snoke’s words, about Nil understanding her position. Once more she sees his memory of a desolate, icy world. She can’t help but wonder who he is and what else he’s seen. Is he like her, just some nobody from a barren world, tossed aside by an indifferent universe? If Snoke had his way, is this what she could become?

The ground trembles again. Their footing slips, but their blades stay locked. For a moment Rey thinks she might be able to break free, but the opportunity slips by as the motion of the earth makes her stumble one more step backwards. She gasps for breath, truly panicking now.

“No tricks?” Nil asks, breathless, “And here I was almost impressed.”

She grits her teeth and strains to hold her ground. She closes her eyes. Tries to focus. There has to be something…

“Is it in the nature of scavengers to roll over and die when they’re beaten? I’m giving you a chance to fight back!” he yells, “Take it!”

She remembers what Maz said. About the Force. The light. She can feel it all around her, holding the world together just like she said.

_“Listen. It will guide you.”_

She forgets about her fear and focuses only on her breathing, on the tensing of her muscles, and on the hum of the lightsaber in her hands. The Force flows in and around her, whispering words she can’t hear, but that she understands implicitly. A deep peace washes over her. She lingers in its embrace for only a second. Then she opens her eyes again and glares back at her opponent.

With a roar she pushes upwards, throwing his blade back. Then she ducks and runs, skirting past him as his saber cuts back down through the frigid air. He wheels around and swings at her, but she’s too fast. As he lunges forward, pursuing her back into the forest, she sweeps her blade upwards towards him. He parries her strike, and as he does, she whirls back around behind him and begins her offensive.

Her movements are sharper, her swings more powerful, and she pushes him back away from the edge of the cliff. As he blocks her strikes, he seems more interested in figuring out where this newfound confidence is coming from than he does winning the fight. It’s the mistake she’s been looking for. She bats his blade away as he makes a half-hearted attempt at a counter strike, and lunges forward. He hisses in pain as her lightsaber slices his thigh. He brings his saber up as a barrier as he stumbles sideways onto one knee, and she brings her blade down again. Their sabers lock again briefly. Then she rears back and kicks him, driving her heel into his chest and throwing him backwards. His lightsaber deactivates, nearly falling from his grasp, as he hits the ground. He grits his teeth, and blood drips from the wound in his side onto the snow. He takes a breath. Then his saber ignites, and he pushes himself back into the fray.

His first few swings are easy to counter. They’re wide. Aimless. Sloppy. When another opening presents itself, she sweeps her blade down, grazing his arm. He loses his footing for a brief moment, and his guard drops. She brings the blade back up in a sharp flourish, and he stumbles backwards as she carves a deep gash across his chest.

His weapon falls from his hand as he strikes the ground for a second time. He sucks in a panicked breath and coughs. More blood drips into the snow as he rolls onto his side, arm curled in to shield the growing collection of injuries to his torso. He makes no other move to get up, and Rey realizes that’s it. She beat him. She won. Nil spits blood onto the ground and glances over at her.

“Finish it, scavenger,” he growls, “If you don’t kill me, he will.”

A little voice in her head agrees with the sentiment. She _should_ just kill him. He’s a murderer and a sadist, a monster in every sense of the word, but she hesitates. While that voice belongs to her, she knows where it comes from. It whispers to her in her darkest moments, preying on her fear and rage and insecurity, egging her into behaving rashly and without compassion.

_The Dark Side._  

She takes a breath and glowers down at him, her stance clear:

_I will not listen to you._

He pauses. Then he laughs.

A booming crack shatters the quiet as another fissure splits the ground between them. Rey scrambles backwards, watching trees shudder and fall into the chasm before her. She can see veins of lava coming up from deep within the planet’s core, and she knows it won’t be long before the earth tears itself apart completely. When the quake settles again, she and Nil are hundreds of feet apart on either side of a fiery canyon. She gives him one last look. Though she may not have killed him, she realizes he may very well die here anyway. She almost feels sorry for him. Her lightsaber deactivates, and she turns and runs back into the trees. He may have accepted his fate, but she still has something to live for, and she won’t let this doomed planet swallow it up.

“Finn!” she cries, “Ben?!”

She tries to follow her own footprints back through the snow, but as she reaches the last place she remembers her friends being, they’re nowhere to be found. She whips her head back and forth, searching for any sign of them as the ground continues to shake beneath her. Another quake pitches the earth up underneath her and she stumbles forward onto her hands and knees. Her eyes burn with tears and she curls her hands into fists. Exhaustion presses down on her, and her fingers start to go numb from the cold. She doesn’t know where they went. She doesn’t know where the _Falcon_ is, or even if it’s still above ground. She’s out of options.

A bright white light cuts through the trees, and she lifts her head as an engine roars in front of her. For a moment she’s blinded. Then the light pivots away, and there she is. The _Falcon,_ hovering just below the canopy. Waiting for her.

The boarding ramp lowers, and she sees Ben. He grabs onto the hydraulics with one hand and holds the other out towards her.

“Rey!” he shouts.

She gets to her feet and sprints towards the ship. When she reaches the boarding ramp, she launches herself upwards. Her feet hit the slippery metal, and for a moment she loses her balance as the ramp bucks underneath her. Ben lunges forward and grabs her hand, pulling her up to safety. She stumbles forward, clinging to his arm as he reaches out with his other hand and slams the button to bring the ramp back up.

The ramp jumps underneath them, and they both lose their balance as it closes and the ship shoots forward. Ben falls backwards, and Rey tries to let go to keep herself from falling too, but it’s too late. They both slam into the metal floor. The engine fires, carrying them out of the atmosphere and back into the cold silence of space. The ship levels out, and finally, _finally,_ they’re safe.

Rey realizes she’s practically lying on top of Ben, and she pushes herself up onto her knees. Ben releases a shaky breath and props himself up on his elbows.

“Are you ok?” he asks.

She nods and scrubs a few lingering tears away.

“I am now.”

He sits up, getting ready to stand, but she doesn’t want him to go anywhere. She doesn’t want him out of her sight ever again. She reaches forward and pulls him into a hug, new tears welling up in relief. They did it. They really did it. They got away. They _won,_ at least today. She feels him jump a little, tensing in surprise, but it doesn’t take him long to accept it. He relaxes, breathes, and hugs her back gently. She responds by crushing her body against his and closing her eyes - feeling their hearts pounding together, yet still not feeling close enough - and something inside him breaks. He holds her with new ferocity, his shoulders trembling, as if at any moment she might disappear. He presses his face into her shoulder, and she feels him shudder as he tries again to breathe. The weight of everything that’s happened comes crashing back down around them, smothering them under a tidal wave of exhaustion and grief. Tears spill from her own eyes, but she embraces the storm. Everything is going to be ok now.


	9. Point of Departure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, the final chapter. Not gonna lie, I have no idea when part 2 is gonna be ready, but I hope ya'll have enjoyed this at least. Thank you to everyone who left comments and kudos! <3

When they land, the Resistance base is in chaos. Medics run to meet them, only waiting as long as it takes for the  _ Falcon _ ’s landing gear to reach the ground before hurrying up the boarding ramp. They get Finn on a stretcher, relaying information and instructions to each other in sharp bursts. Then they rush him off to the medical bay. Rey starts to follow them, but she pauses in the hallway when she notices that Ben isn’t following her. 

Ben sits in one of the chairs in the  _ Falcon’s  _ main lounge, eyes fixed on a bank of sensors, but not really looking at them. He feels pulled back and forth between dozens of impulses and little tasks he needs to do. He needs to get up and go outside, but part of him wants to stay here within the safety of the ship, and yet another part never wants to set foot inside it again. He wants to go to his mother and hug her, yet the thought of explaining what happened crushes his chest like a vice. He has to move, he wants to move, but he can’t, he doesn’t want to. He’s frozen, head humming with numb static and incomplete thoughts. 

He jumps when he feels Rey’s hand on his shoulder. 

“You should get your wound looked at,” she says. 

She’s probably right, but going to the medical bay means getting up, means walking outside, means looking at everyone who’s here and remembering who’s not and acknowledging that what just happened was real. The gash doesn’t hurt so much anymore. It won’t kill him. He could easily put it off. 

Rey doesn’t push him, and for a moment she too is torn between staying and leaving. He sits up straight and tries to shake off some of the fog. 

“Go on,” he murmurs, “I’ll catch up.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I’ll only be a minute,” he pauses and looks up at her, “Go.” 

She purses her lips, unconvinced, but there’s nothing else she can do right now but take his word for it. She lingers for another moment, hesitating. Then she turns and walks down the hallway towards the boarding ramp. He’s alone again, and in the silence he wonders if he made a mistake not following her. The hissing of the ship’s pipes and hydraulics as they cool down isn’t enough to drown out his own thoughts or the labored beating of his heart. He closes his eyes and leans forward in his chair, palm pressed against his forehead. He listens to the quiet drone of machinery for a moment, and when his ears go numb to it, he listens to what’s beyond. 

The Force feels stagnant around him, as if even it is exhausted. He feels no light or darkness, just an ever present drone of energy, flowing in and out of the room like a tide. Not good. Not bad. Just there. Constant. Unavoidable. 

_ It doesn’t matter anymore. Whether I reject it or embrace it, I get the same result. Someone gets hurt.  _

So what is he supposed to do? Is this how he’s fated to live now? As a ticking time bomb? Will he hear echoes of suffering and madness in his head until the day his will to fight them is finally broken? Could they destroy the First Order and remove Snoke’s influence, or would the darkness continue to tempt him even after the old tyrant’s death? How much of this conflict is an inherent flaw within him? Is there any part of his soul that’s salvageable?

The soft whir of servos echoes through the quiet space. He opens his eyes as R2-D2 comes rolling into the lounge. R2 lets out a low, worried whistle. Ben takes a breath and sits up as the droid comes closer. He puts his hand on R2’s dome, and R2 beeps something very rude about that guy in the mask being an ill tempered rathtar. Worse than a regular rathtar, mind you. Ben appreciates the attempt at levity, but he can’t quite bring himself to smile. 

“My sense of humor’s about gone, R2,” he murmurs. 

R2 whistles sadly. In the hallway behind him, he hears soft footsteps on the metal floors. 

He knows it’s his mother before he even turns to look. As she enters the room, she dreads what she might find, but as soon as she sees him, all of her anxiety washes away. The stale flow of the Force around him jumps and flickers in response to her presence, and the dust and gray haze is swept out in swirling pools of warmth and light. He starts tearing up immediately. God, how he missed that. He missed  _ her.  _ He could always see her and talk to her and read between the lines to know how she was feeling, but after he severed himself from the rest of the universe, it was never the same. It could never replace the intangible bond they’ve always had, anymore than he could replace the light of a star with a glowrod. 

He turns his head as she approaches, and a dozen different sentences run through his mind. There’s no good way to start this conversation, but there has to be a way to find the perfect words that will make this as painless as possible. She doesn’t give him the chance to talk, though. She wraps her arms around his shoulders and pulls him close to her chest. He closes his eyes and leans into it as she smooths down his hair.

“Don’t you scare me like that,” she murmurs. 

“Take it up with the stormtroopers,” he mutters. 

Leia pauses and takes a deep breath. 

“You don’t have to tell me what happened,” she says, “I know everything I need to.”

He scoffs. 

“You do?” 

“Yes. I do,” she says firmly, “Another giant death laser was blown up, and you weren’t on it.”

“Mom…”

“And I know that what happened to your father is not your fault.”

A lump forms in his throat. 

“You felt it, didn’t you,” he says.

She rests her chin on top of his head and closes her eyes. 

“I thought I’d lost you both,” she murmurs, “When I saw you in the base, I couldn’t be sure if it was a vision or something else. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to see you.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

“You were trying to protect yourself. It’s ok.”

“Not just me,” he says, bitterness rising in his chest, “I thought denying that part of myself would cause the least harm. But I was wrong.” 

“Ben...”

He sits up straight, and, reluctantly, she lets go. 

“I’ve put it off too long. I know now there are some things I can’t avoid.”

She narrows her eyes.

“I’m not sure I like your tone.”

“Which is to say,” he continues, “the Force is part of our family. For better or worse. It will follow me whatever I do. I should learn to control it.”

Her expression softens, her worries temporarily alleviated. He feels a pang of guilt, and a little voice in the back of his mind says he should just be honest with her. For once in his life, just  _ tell her  _ what’s really going on. Tell her about Snoke. Tell her about the visions. Tell her that he gave into it and that he needs help confronting that unfortunate truth. But he can’t bring himself to. That voice is smothered by the ever present instinct to hide. Deflect. Say it’s not as bad as it seems. Don’t make them worry.

“So what’s your plan? We could send you to find Luke.”

“No. I’m not ready for that. Rey should be the one you send.”

“Alright. So?”

There are a handful of people he could ask for help, but he knows already who his first choice is. Someone who isn’t a Jedi, but who understands the Force none-the-less. Someone who’s familiar with the shortcomings of their legacy, and who might have ways to overcome it, even if for now he’s too afraid to admit the truth.

“We have more pressing issues to take care of, so I don’t expect to start right away-.”

She holds up her hand. 

“You don’t need to say anything,” she puts her hand on his shoulder and gives him a cheerless smile, “I may be a general, but I can always make time for you. And especially for this.”

Though she projects strength and calm, he can tell deep down she’s devastated and just trying to hold it at bay for a little longer. For his sake. He wants to tell her she doesn’t have to pretend everything is ok for him, tell her it’s ok to grieve, but the moment passes before he gets the chance. The humor returns to her eyes. 

“Now get your stubborn ass to the infirmary,” she says, putting her hand on her hip in motherly disapproval, “You’re starting to look like a bounty hunter.”

“I thought you liked scoundrels,” he teases. 

She scoffs. 

“Well that’s certainly what your father would have you believe.”

She squeezes his shoulder, then turns and starts walking back down the hall. He stands and follows. R2 beeps in amusement and joins the end of the parade. Out on the landing pad, most of the pilots have already gone inside. All that’s left are the maintenance crews assessing the damage to their fleet. Leia turns back to look at him. 

“I’m sure they’ll want me in the briefing room,” she says. 

“I’ll be fine, Mom.”

“Ok. I love you.”

He smiles. 

“I love you, too.”

Then she turns and starts walking towards the briefing room while he goes further on towards the med bay. It isn’t until he reaches the dim stone hallways of the base that he realizes he doesn’t actually know where he’s going. He’s never even seen the Resistance base before. At least, not in person. He sighs. Good one, Solo. Too late to turn back, he supposes. He’ll make it there eventually. He starts walking in a random direction, but he doesn’t make it very far before a familiar, anxious voice rings through the corridor. 

“Oh my goodness! Do my eyes deceive me?”

He turns as C-3PO comes hustling down an adjacent hallway. The shiny gold droid looks the same as he ever did, save for the mismatched red arm, which is new.

“Young Master Ben, what an unexpected surprise!” he continues, “It is I! C-3PO! You may not have recognized me because of the red arm.” 

“I promise you, Threepio, it would take more than a paint job to make you unrecognizable,” Ben replies. 

“Well that’s very kind of you to say, sir.” 

“Where is the infirma-?” 

Ben doesn’t even complete the question before 3PO notices the reason for it. The droid startles. 

“Oh, good heavens! You’re injured too! R2-D2, did you let this happen?” he demands. 

R2 yells at his old friend in binary, beeping and squawking that he wasn’t even on Starkiller base, you buckethead. 

“No, no,  _ before _ that!” 3PO says. 

R2 snarks back that he was told to stay with the ships on Takodana and how could he have known that the First Order would attack with dozens of troops and split everyone up?! Ben crosses his arms and rolls his eyes. The hallway only gets more crowded as trio of officers rounds the corner, talking back and forth over a data pad. Bringing up the rear of the pack is Poe, and Ben’s shoulders visibly relax. 

“We’ll finish this later,” he says, with absolutely no intention of keeping that promise. He starts walking before either of the droids can argue. 

When Poe spots Ben, his eyes widen and he breaks away from the group. The only reason Ben doesn’t break into a run towards him is because the hall is too short, and it only takes a few long strides to reach his friend. 

“Whoa, buddy, what the hell happened?!” Poe asks. 

“I could ask you the same thing,” Ben says, an accusatory note in his voice, “Finn told me you were dead.” 

As much as he wants to stay pissed at his friend for scaring him, he just can’t do it. He’s too relieved to see him alive and unscathed. He gives Poe a firm hug, which Poe is more than happy to reciprocate. 

“Yeah, it’s kind of a crazy story,” Poe breathes as they seperate, “but I’m not sure it’s one I have time for. I need to go to debrief.” 

“Keep scaring me like that, and I’ll be gray before I’m thirty.”

“I’d say you got your revenge.”

“No. No, you won’t get off the hook that easily. I have  _ dozens  _ of stories I could tell. You only have one now.”

“What?” Poe exclaims, “Come on-.”

“You still owe me, Dameron.”

Poe sighs and gives him a playful glare. 

“Seriously though, I’m glad you’re ok,” he says. 

“How is Finn?”

“Lucky. It’s gonna take some time for him to recover, but the doc thinks he’ll be fine.”

“Good. I’m glad. Could you point me towards the infirmary?”

“Definitely. It’s back down that hallway, take a left, past the next two junctions, take a right and just keep going.”

“Thank you.”

Poe gives him an encouraging slap on the shoulder, which makes him wince, though he tries not to show it. Then they go their separate ways. 

Ben passes a few groups of people as he walks, most of them mechanics or ground troops just milling around. The further into the base he goes, the less people he sees. The design of the corridors changes too, switching back and forth almost at random, from rough stone floors and rugged iron walls to smooth gray metal with symmetrical support columns. Remnants of old repairs and renovations over the years. Eventually he finds the hallway Poe was talking about. It’s long and dim with only every other light illuminating the walkway. Every so often he sees a metal door, and next to a few of those doors are large rectangular windows looking into exam rooms not currently in use. At the end of the hall is a curve, leading even deeper into the base. 

The quiet feels somewhat eerie compared to the hum of activity he just came from. The contrast is made more apparent by the quick, sharp tapping of his boots against the floor, so he slows his pace. With the rush of conversations one after the other gone, he’s left once more with only his own thoughts to fill the silence. The difference is this time, he’s prepared. He stuffs them back down as they surface, determined not to keep dwelling on the caustic blend of emotions that gets stirred back up every time he thinks about anything more complicated than putting one foot in front of the other. But it’s like trying to wash away sediment at the bottom of a creek. The more effort you put into the task, the muddier the water becomes. His eyes drift sideways as he walks past another window. His gaze finds his reflection in the glass, and he recoils with a violent shudder. 

His eyes lock onto the smooth, dark surface of the window, and he startles backwards. His reflection stares back with wild eyes, and his heart slams against his ribs. For a moment he can’t move. He doesn’t dare. He squeezes his eyes shut, takes a breath, and opens them again. And it’s still there: his face, reflected in black glass, marred by a jagged, bloodied gash. He takes a step forward. Then another, hand outstretched in numb horror until it reaches the cool surface of the window. Though it isn’t a perfect mirror, it provides all the detail he needs. From the nick just above his eyebrow to the wide, charred cut along his collar bone, it’s exact. A haunting replica of the nightmare he was shown. 

His reflection moves with him as he curls his hand into a fist and pulls it away, stealing any hope that this is a trick of the light or the ghost of a vision. It’s real. It’s now. 

And he saw it coming. 

Like a clock ticking down. 

A time bomb. 

The numb shock clinging to his frame shatters, and with a furious scream he slams his fist into the glass. 

Pain shoots up his arm, and the sharp snaps of fractures forming in the glass rings through the corridor. A spiderweb of cracks blooms outwards from the impact point. His breath comes in ragged gasps, and he squeezes his eyes shut. A burning building. A catwalk. Blue light. Red light. Forest. Desert. Rey screaming. A man laughing. His own face, snarling in pain and fury. 

_ No. No, no, please, no.  _

He opens his fist and presses his palm against the glass; the other he crushes against his brow. The air feels heavy in his lungs, and he fights for each breath until he can start to breathe normally again. The pain in his hand fades. So does his anger. And so do his visions. 

* * *

Celebrations carry on through the night, and the frenzy of activity carries on into the morning as the Resistance shifts gear straight into emergency protocols. Though they struck a powerful blow against the First Order, everyone knows they aren’t safe yet. Their location is compromised, their allies are scattered, and it’s time to retreat while they still have the option. Even so, no one’s mood seems to have changed. Rey can feel the surge of confidence and joy around every person out on the tarmac, which quickly becomes infectious. She can’t help but smile at the people she passes as she walks to the end of the landing zone where the  _ Falcon  _ waits for her _. _

Still, it’s bittersweet. It feels wrong to be leaving so soon after how hard she fought to get here. What she wouldn’t give for just one day to relax and appreciate the company of these extraordinary people who came crashing into her life only a few days ago. 

_ Strange the difference a day makes.  _

General Organa is waiting for her. She says a few words to Chewbacca, who nods and heads up the boarding ramp. Then she turns to Rey and smiles. 

“Well? Are you ready to go?” she asks.

Rey looks from her to the ship and back, nervously adjusting her grip on her staff. 

“I’m not sure.”

“It’s ok to be nervous. I know this has all been a big adjustment for you.” 

Rey nods but isn’t really sure what else to say. Calling the adjustment “big” is an incredible understatement. Though she’s glad to be here, wrapping her head around everything is going to take much longer than the few days she’s had. Her entire worldview has been shattered with very little ceremony, and she wasn’t prepared for how little she knew or for how big a part she would play in the events that would unfold. Leia lifts her hand and turns her wrist over to reveal two strange bracelets. Both are made up of a silver plate secured with black chord. In the middle of the plate is a blue light that glows softly. Leia removes one of the bracelets and places it in Rey’s hand. 

“When you’re ready to return, this will show you the way,” she says, “The  _ Falcon’s  _ navicomputer should be able to read the frequency. Then all you have to do is follow the beacon back.” 

Rey smiles. 

“Thank you.”

Leia reaches up and hugs her, and Rey resists the urge to squeeze the older woman with all her strength. She doesn’t know how to thank her for all her kindness. Maybe one day she’ll figure that out, but right now they both have jobs they need to do. Leia takes a step back and holds Rey’s hands in hers. 

“I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, and I don’t know what you’ll find, but I want you to remember: as long as there’s still a spark of hope in the galaxy, then the First Order hasn’t won,” she gives Rey and gentle but confident smile, “I have faith you’ll continue to carry that spark.”

“I’ll bring the Jedi back, Leia. I promise you.” 

“I know you will.” 

“Rey!” 

Rey turns when she hears her name, and she sees Ben jogging toward the ship, R2 speeding after him. 

“Forgetting something?” he asks when he stops. R2 chirps a greeting to her and starts rolling up the boarding ramp. Rey looks at Ben in confusion. 

“Your droid is coming too?” she asks. 

“He has the map. Can’t imagine you’ll get far without it,” he says. 

“It’ll be safer with R2,” Leia adds, “He can protect it in case something goes wrong. He’s very good at that.” 

Rey can’t help but feel a little flustered. She doesn’t understand why they’ve been so generous with her, some random girl from some nowhere planet who they barely know. It goes against everything she’s ever learned is smart or right, but she would be lying if she said she wasn’t grateful.  

She looks over at Ben. Though he seems relaxed on the outside, she can tell he’s exhausted. Between the shadows under his eyes and the trail of bacta patches going down his face and neck, he still looks like a mess. She wants to ask how he’s doing, but they don’t really have time. She needs to get going. She looks up at the  _ Falcon.  _

“Is it really ok for me to take her?”

“You need a fast ship that will get you there and back in one piece,” Ben shrugs, “I can’t think of a better choice.” 

“Besides, you’re the only other person here who can appreciate this hunk of junk,” Leia adds, “We know you and Chewie will take good care of her.” 

“Thank you. Both of you,” Rey says. 

She smiles and starts making her way up the boarding ramp, determined to take off before she starts getting emotional. Leia smiles back.

“You’re welcome, Rey,” she says warmly, “May the Force be with you.” 

Rey closes the ramp and makes her way to the cockpit. Chewie sits in the copilot’s seat, finishing up their final checks. She stares at the pilot’s seat for a moment in stunned silence. Then she takes a deep breath and sits down. Time to go. 

Chewie gives her a reassuring nod as she puts her hands on the controls, and she smiles back. She fires up the engines, and slowly the ship rises. Above the tarmac. Above the rolling green hills that conceal the base. Above the plains of D’Qar. Into the blue sky. Past the clouds. Out of the atmosphere, and into the stars beyond. 

**Author's Note:**

> Also, if you like playlists and you like playlists about stuff, I have a playlist on Spotify for this fic that you're welcome to check out. I might add more songs if I find them, but it's more or less complete as is. Enjoy!  
> https://open.spotify.com/user/2qlqfx4efwojnn82yf0ljuc9w/playlist/0bGW2LZuNBIk2XhdY6hJzU?si=XfOJa1XbQxq26jcflVb8sw


End file.
